Anxiety before a radical prostatectomy

My father died of prostate cancer. He was in a lot of pain when he died.

He had radiation so I decided to have surgery. I was 62. Four days after surgery, I drove to three clients offices to work on their computer issues. All I needed was Tylenol for the pain. Four days later, I went back to work full-time. My work didn’t require me to do heavy lifting just sitting down at Computers and fixing issues.

You are young, so you probably will feel better very quickly.

I had to wait two weeks to get my catheter out, I had no incontinence after it was removed. Most people have some so you should have pads in case that happens.

Are they sparing the nerves when you are having your surgery? That can enable you to get erections more easily. If you don’t know, ask the doctor.

Make sure you can be very comfortable in the car When going home after surgery. I found that sitting in a seat was very uncomfortable, even with it reclined. Being able to lie down in the back with blankets and pillows will be real helpful.

I'm also a vet and skipped the VA (personal choice, not a big fan) and let me tell you some good news because it's why I'm sticking around here. I came out of RARP with not a single millisecond of either incontinence nor ED and, in fact, had an erection within 20 minutes of surgery - which was very uncomfortable and my urologist was truly impressed.

This is to say that not all PC news is doom and gloom. With any luck I'll never have another issue, I can't plan for that but I can hope for it.

But, let's say something happens and your results aren't quite as poster perfect... 90% of men recover from ED and incontinence from RARP between 3 and 18 months post op.

I went through significant anxiety because all I found was bad news. I weighed it all out. If I had ED, worst case I get an implant and then I have a button for an erection - kinda nifty really (although natural is preferred). If I had incontinence, I could get an artificial sphincter installed.

So the bad stuff you hear about are often the outliers or those many years down the road who got a recurrence and now have to deal with all of that.

You've got this. I can't help your stress, it's what it is, but don't focus on the doom and gloom and remember that it could be worse: you could be getting shelled.

@jeffmarc
Thank you Jeff, for your comments The Hospital is about two hours away. The Dr wants me to stay in the hospital for 3 days due to the distance of travel. I work in an office and can do most of my duties from home. I will definitely ask my Dr about the sparing of the nerves

@survivor5280
Thank you, I agree with you about the VA although they are sending me to a Civilian Dr. If it was a VA Dr I would definitely not be going through the VA

@sarge15926 I was choosing my words carefully so as not to make you feel bad about the VA, but I avoid the VA like the plague! I happily pay for private insurance. It's OK, I still have the PX and I do use that from time to time 😂

Are you anxious about the provedure or the incontinence, ED after? On the first, there is no need to worry. Discomfort after surgery us mild and short-lived.

@topf
All of it to be honest. Tbh

It's very easy to read *too* much.
There are a lot of people here with different experiences, but one thing that I learned is that some things that other guys have experienced may not happen to you.

Also... one step at a time.
Presumably you got through the MRI scan & biopsy ok.
That already shows you that you're tougher than you think.
Next is the actual op.

Don't waste time at the moment worrying about the aftermath - incontinence, ED etc.
That's later - if at all.
The surgeon who's doing the op has probably done this hundreds of times.
You'll be fine & we're always here to vent to each other.
When are you going in for surgery?

@peterj116
Next Tuesday 4 NOV. I really appreciate your comments

I had mine done a year ago, when I was 60.
So fairly recent & similar age.
My experience:
2 days in hospital (might be 1 day for you. It varies).
When in hospital - get up when you can & start taking small steps. Very important.
Say YES to morphine - my new friend.
Out of hospital... lots of rest & you'll need help showering & dealing with the catheter.
The catheter is no fun at all - easily the worst part of it.
Bed rest & no lifting anything heavier than a milk bottle for the next 6 weeks.

And speaking of milk... milk this. All you can. Accept any & all offers of help with anything that starts with getting out of bed.
It's very important to walk. As much as you're comfortable with.
Your insides will be stirred around with surgery, so let gravity be your friend.
Don't skip ANY of the painkillers offered to you.

Other than that, it's lots of YouTube/Netflix for you.
And coming here all the time to ask "Is that normal? Did you have this?"