I'm also a vet and skipped the VA (personal choice, not a big fan) and let me tell you some good news because it's why I'm sticking around here. I came out of RARP with not a single millisecond of either incontinence nor ED and, in fact, had an erection within 20 minutes of surgery - which was very uncomfortable and my urologist was truly impressed.

This is to say that not all PC news is doom and gloom. With any luck I'll never have another issue, I can't plan for that but I can hope for it.

But, let's say something happens and your results aren't quite as poster perfect... 90% of men recover from ED and incontinence from RARP between 3 and 18 months post op.

I went through significant anxiety because all I found was bad news. I weighed it all out. If I had ED, worst case I get an implant and then I have a button for an erection - kinda nifty really (although natural is preferred). If I had incontinence, I could get an artificial sphincter installed.

So the bad stuff you hear about are often the outliers or those many years down the road who got a recurrence and now have to deal with all of that.

You've got this. I can't help your stress, it's what it is, but don't focus on the doom and gloom and remember that it could be worse: you could be getting shelled.