@bayviewgal You have given such a wonderful account of your husband and your short marriage! I’ll bet you were THE couple that everyone admired! They are probably asking, “what is their secret.”?

@bayviewgal l understand what you're feeling, though my husband isn't in memory care yet, just independent living with Care and his words and memories are melting like an ice cube on a hot sidewalk. I've been visiting him in his retirement home everyday since he suffered a bad fall a couple of months ago and spent a month in the hospital and rehab before going to the care home, and I'm not doing well either. I'm depressed and lonely and wonder what the rest of my life will be like. I'll be 80 in January, and, believe me, being 80 is no joke. I'm not ready to throw in the towel and "go gently into that good night." I want to live a little while I can and I feel selfish and guilty for feeling that way. My poor husband, who was a PhD from Stanford, an athlete, and an all-around fun guy, is now at about the level of a five-yr. old. I feel so incredibly sorry for him and want to be with him but there are days--and more nights--when I feel like I'm drowning. I have no advice. I don't believe there's anything anyone could say that would make this easier. Just hold onto friends you can confide in. If you have kids, don't expect them to fully understand or be able to help, even if they want to. They just don't know what this is like and why should they? I'm so sorry for your loss, for that's what it is, and, like you, I have to believe that with time this will get easier.