@jenatsky morphine apparently loses its pain killing (nerves) as time goes on, i fast realised i was addicted ! and tried some valium for sleep, then cannibis, and just cold turkey the morphine, dangerous yes, but it was killing my guts, and fogging my brains, i had to be drastic! its worked, i've broken the constant cycles, ive tried a tiny amount of gabapentin, 100 mg morning and same night, which is 10% of recommended, and between that, some cannibis at night, a couple of red wines,, things are finally at a point where there's a liveable life!!