Hello @angschaffer, What a terrible experience your dad had with his trach change. We were taught by respiratory how to suction my dad's trach at home and every time it was hard on him. He had a recurrence of his oral SCC and the trach was permanent until he passed away. It is a panic feeling to not be able to take in enough oxygen. Hopefully with time and healing he will improve enough to do without it.
I remember being hit with the news of the need for radiation right away 2 days after surgery myself. They wanted it to start within a month but I managed to get it going at 6 weeks. with all the side effects of radiation I certainly would not be rushing into that step until your dad is healing and doing well from this surgery. Sometimes you just have to take charge and make the decisions, with respect to the doctors who want to give you their best recommendation. Perhaps a question to his team could be about an immunotherapy instead of radiation starting right now? There is a lot of progress with immunotherapy for head and neck cancer recently. While the standard is radiation, there may be other options. A second opinion at a large cancer facility might be considered. Is he being treated locally? Be his advocate for his medical care especially now while he is so impacted by his current condition. Ask all the questions, especially about side effects and complications of treatment.