Hi @janetlen. This is indeed a major life crossroads for you with your decision to go ahead with the bone marrow transplant. It looks like you’ve given this decision a great deal of thought, weighing the rewards and risks. It is a highly personal decision and not one to take lightly. But if all goes as expected, it can be an amazing gift of a second chance at life.

As you mentioned, @katgob recently went through this procedure for MDS in effort to preempt the progression to AML as have quite a few other members. I also had an allogeneic transplant 6 + years ago and enjoying my 2nd life! So welcome the BMT club!

Here are a couple of my go-to guides for instructions on stem cell transplants for caregivers and patients with sections on what to pack, avoiding infections and after care.

The first link below is a great guide from Mayo for caregivers and patients. Even if you’re not a Mayo patient most of this will be a great guide for you. Take your time to explore all the tabs. Tons of great information.
You’re having an allogeneic transplant so skip the portion for the autologous procedure.
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/caregivers-for-bmt-car-t-and-hematology/tab/transplant-journey/
This guide is from Memorial Sloan Kettering which I found to be helpful as well.
https://www.mskcc.org/pdf/cancer-care/patient-education/leaving-hospital-after-your-allogeneic-transplant
Other things to consider for long term stay:

Mail~USPS will hold mail up to 30 days. Consider having mail forwarded to your lodging. If your mail is held, sign up for free USPS service of previewing the mail. You can see what’s being delivered/held that day to see if you’re missing anything important.
>Laptop/tablet/smartphone (+ chargers)
>Small electrical extension cord for charging your phone/tablet while in the hospital room.
>All medications, spare eye-glasses if needed, personal items for grooming, etc.
>Stamps, envelopes, address book.

Clothing:
>Slippers or shoes you can wear in the hospital
>A favorite blanket or pillow
>Depending on your length of stay, you might cross seasons. So bring clothes you can layer
>lounging clothes for comfort and looser fitting tops to accommodate the chest port

~~~~
There are several existing posts which will be helpful for you.
This one I started a few years ago. It’s very active and I’d encourage you to use that discussion to share your journey going forward. That way you’ll have more members who have had their BMTs see the discussion and add to yours! ☺️

~~My Bone Marrow Transplant (BMT/SCT) story:
Will you share yours?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/my-bone-marrow-transplant-bmt-
To address a couple of the subjects you mentioned:
Donor cell collection: Often donor cells are collected within a day or so of transplant. There are instances where the collected cells are frozen so they can be harvested much earlier.

~The week before transplant is preconditioning. Yes, that is chemotherapy which will essentially clean your marrow and lymph system of remaining cancer cells.
However, during that time between chemo and transplant, you’re not kept alive with transfusions. You’ll be up and around, eating normally, walking, etc., but progressively getting more tired by the end of that week. Then there is Day Zero. The infusion day. The stem cell infusion takes only 20 to 30 minutes and it’s over! Pretty anticlimactic.

It is the time during the next two weeks which will have you feeling your worst as blood numbers drop off. Usually the symptoms are extreme fatigue, possible nausea and just feeling loagy, mostly wanting to sleep the day away. After the initial 2-3 weeks when the cells engraft into the marrow you’ll begin to slowly recover. Energy and stamina will improve.

You will most likely lose hair around Day 10, so you may want to get a buzz cut before that happens. I did, and loved it!! Felt pretty liberating and rocked the look! ☺️

This is already very lengthy so I’ll stop here. Where are you having your transplant? Do you have a caregiver lined up?

@janetlen
Lori was my go-to on this site as i entered the testing needed before the Preconditioning. Oh my, when they ask you to do the 24-hour urine catch, drink water galore and fill that container. Oh my. I did not and i ended up having to have a catheter inserted in the hospital for 3 days or so. One more thing hooked up. You have a number of IVS keeping to get you healthy.
Nothing surprised me on the journey. I had everything needed for my room of 30 days in the hospital. I found to make it more comfortable I ordered a foam mattress for the bed. The staff put it on for me, and it did make the bed more comfortable.
In the hospital you get nausea meds. Have you been told you will get a pic-line or port? Fatigue and tiredness the first few weeks. Lori talks about the first few weeks as the body takes in its new cells. I did not have diarrhea. I will say that in the hospital for the first few weeks they do take urine samples and measurements and fecal too. They need to make sure all your systems are in order.
Asto the hair, Melphalan was the chemo I got with another chemo on another day. My hair fellow out at 2 weeks the first time 4 years ago. This time I had the department that takes care of our hair throughout this journey, came up to cut mine to a fuzz.

@janetlen I see that others have answered a lot of your questions. I will address the adult diaper question. I never wore them during chemo, transplant and post transplant. I did have a lot of diarrhea though. Sometimes getting up and going to the bathroom multiple times was my only exercise of the day. I know that now a lot of hospitals have alarms on the beds, which is really annoying but serve their purpose. I didn’t call the nurse if I urgently needed to go, since waiting wasn’t an option when I had diarrhea.

Wishing you a successful transplant! I am going on my 10th year post SCT! I am still working full time and enjoying my early 60’s!