Connect
← Return to Family member suicide: Why do I still feel the pain of grief?
Discussion
Family member suicide: Why do I still feel the pain of grief?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Oct 28 4:44pm | Replies (5)Comment receiving replies
I am sorry to hear about your mother and the resulting grief that you carry. Two years ago my son took his own life. Less than a year later my husband died due to complications from cancer. For me the grief associated with my son's suicide is quite different than the grief for my husband. There are so many unanswered questions with suicide, and for me, feelings of guilt, anger and a sort of disassociation.
As Miriam mentioned above, grief never really goes away. I think we just continue to move through it. I agree with the point about accepting the feelings as a way of honoring your mother. There is some trauma involved with suicide, and that can come back unannounced sometimes. Please give yourself grace for how far you have come. 💗
Replies to "I am sorry to hear about your mother and the resulting grief that you carry. Two..."
Connect
@opheli I am so very sorry to hear your story and can’t begin to know how difficult it must still be for you to have lost your child and your spouse within the same year. And it’s only been 2 years, so your grief and your pain is still be so recent and new. I can’t begin to imagine how it must feel to lose your child, and how especially painful because of his suicide.
You are correct in saying that grief associated with suicide is very different. I was only 27 when I lost my mother and for me the feelings of guilt were almost unbearable. And over the years the guilt turned to sorrow because I no longer had a mother. It was very hard to understand her mental illness back then, especially the pain she was in her whole life. In those days my mom’s treatments for several attempts of suicide were straight jackets and electroconvulsive shock therapy. Thankfully mental health treatments have come so very far. I often grieve because she had no other options.
I recently began to wonder if there was a group to talk with who had lost parents or children or siblings to the tragedy of suicide. I believe we are a group who probably carry our grief in a way that only those whose loss was like ours will truly understand.
Thanks so much for sharing, especially your insight about how “some trauma involved with suicide can come back unannounced” — even 49 years later.