Wow, so I assume you work full time and have full time custody of three kids? When I went through my divorce, I took care of two kids (7 and 9 when separation began) 5 days a week. I wouldn’t say I had clinical anxiety but I found life incredibly overwhelming. I had cervical neck issues and pain as well, which limited my functional ability which only heightened my anxiety. I was clinically depressed and saw a therapist 3 x week for many months. I read loads of books about sbeing a single parent. Some of the books had good “cheats” that helped save time. I wish I could remember them to share. Also had an acrimonious divorce that only made life harder.

What I’m trying to say is that a lot of anxiety is to be expected in this situation. If you had an anxiety disorder before this, I can’t imagine the anxiety you must be experiencing.

How old are the kids? Are they at different schools, which can make things harder? Do you have a good relationship with the ex? Is the divorce finalized or is this still a source of stress. Also, most people have to learn to live with less money after a divorce, adding to the stress.

It took me 5 years to become acclimated to my new roles and life position after my divorce. Now I am at the point where life seems normal. So take comfort that you are going through a lot of transitions that will improve.

Here’s what helped me.

Frequent visits to my much loved and understanding PCP. I took benzodiazepines (Valium) for a very short period while we tried several meds. I finally landed on a combination of cymbalta (an antidepressant that also helps with anxiety and pain) and Wellbutrin (I’m not sure if Wellbutrin is strictly an antidepressant or if it also helps with anxiety). But there are many good meds, take advantage of them. Most are generic, they won’t cost an arm and a leg. I also took valerian root before bed, it’s more of a general relaxant. I tried many herbal remedies, this is the one that worked best for me. You could ask your doc or try to find a reputable herbal store and discuss with employees.

Getting enough sleep is paramount, for me anyway. What I did was, regardless of if the kitchen was clean or other household chores were complete, when I took the kids upstairs to bed, I never allowed myself to go back downstairs. I did this to ensure I got to sleep early.

Another thing to consider is that maybe your anxiety is in part how your body reacts to depression. Consider asking your PCP for a depression screen. There are also quizzes online that may help.

I started exercising. Gradually increased to an hour a day. It helped tremendously. The days I didn’t work out or had a bad day, I could really tell. I had a flexible enough work schedule that after I took the kids to the bus, I exercised before work. I went to a gym to work out about the same time everyday. So a lot of the same people were there, and though I didn’t make friends, I made a lot of acquaintances, and it seemed to me that having people around who didn’t know my gory, gossip ridden divorce was helpful.

I found an excellent babysitter. For a long time I felt guilty, but now I realize it’s important to your self care to have some ‘you time’

My ex and I were on horrible terms. I learned through therapy how to disengage and not let him bait me into arguments. At times I blocked his number.

I started meditating. At first I did this with a group. I made some good friends.

I took all the help that friends and family offered.

Cannabis is reported to be helpful but I never felt comfortable with the idea of being “high” with kids in the house.

Also remember to cut yourself a break. You don’t have to be perfect at work. And there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Just shower the kids with love, they may be hurting too.