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How can I be a supportive caregiver? HPV Squamous Cell Carcinoma
Head & Neck Cancer | Last Active: Mar 11, 2023 | Replies (49)Comment receiving replies
Hi @chapmanswife, I'm sorry to hear you and your husband are going through this, and I can completely relate to the waiting and inquiries. We went through the same thing. Frankly, I gave myself space to say "I'm taking care of me now" and did my best to be honest with people. This included some close family members who (although well-meaning) sometimes hit the wrong button. I would just say, this is what I need right now and that usually got a good response. I don't think people realize what it feels like, and although they want to help--sometimes it just comes out wrong. I'm sending you hugs and good thoughts. Remember, one day at a time and even one hour at a time. And it's COMPLETELY okay for you to sometimes not be okay. That's part of going through this. Hang in there and find those one or two folks who get it. You are doing awesome with all of this. ((hugs))
Melissa
Replies to "Hi @chapmanswife, I'm sorry to hear you and your husband are going through this, and I..."
Sandy, you are the sweetest! I know what you mean about the guilt, but know I'm hugging you as it's not easy for the family. TBH, I think it's almost worse for my husband at times--but I get it. I started a CaringBridge site to send out updates for us, b/c I couldn't take all the texting/calling, etc. Then everyone gets everything at once and I can write as much as I need to. Sometimes, I tell you I just don't feel like talking to everyone about it. Hang in there. I treat every day as a new day, if I have a rough one I just say to myself--well, today wasn't the best but tomorrow will be better. It's the best I can do sometimes. Lots of hugs to both of you, and there's some great folks on here that can lend an ear when you need it. Thanks so much for sharing.
Melissa
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Melissa, thank you so much for your encouraging words! I understand why it is important to also take care of myself, but I feel a bit guilty in that department right now! My main focus is my husband & his care/concerns! I have found that by limiting the amount of information I share with family & friends, the better off we are. I dont mean that we hold back info, I just mean we dont go into detail! I also created a group on my phone to be able to send only one text that goes to everyone instead of repeating myself, which is very time consuming, as he has a very large family! Any tips anyone has out there as we go through this process are welcomed!
Sandy