Good morning @scoop2365, welcome to Connect. I have no medical trading. I have been and still am a caregiver for a cancer patient and I can share experiences that may have value for you. You are expressing so much love and compassion for your wife. I recall when my life partner first got the results of the scan and biopsy. He turned to me and said, “now Chris, we don’t have to share this with anyone”.

He also did not want to read test reports on the patient portal at Mayo. When we were in with the surgeon, he actually said, “Well, I can’t do this until after my fishing trip”. I finally got through to him and realized this was denial. Then came the anger about the interference with his life, his projects.

Finally he agreed to see a therapist and things got better. That might be helpful for you two. His outlook was dreary because both his father and grandfather had the same affliction.

So what did I do? I practiced active listening when he chose to talk. I gathered information from Connect and other sources to share with him. At first he refused to listen, still in denial. He said that if he didn’t know then he wouldn’t be scared. Slowly I convinced him that knowledge is power.

That’s chapter one. Post surgery is another chapter. Hold on to your hat.

May you both be free of suffering. I know that other members may be in touch. They bring knowledge and understanding. What is your greatest need right now? Chris