@merpreb Am like you--I keep the "what ifs" to myself. Have found that most people are uncomfortable talking about such things. That is why here we CAN discuss such fears. Moreover, I truly have no family left with whom to talk. I do a lot of living in my mind. I think none of us wants to die, even though we can rationalize it as something that will happen one way, or another. We just can't comprehend the idea., i think. We all have our own way of facing our ultimate demise and if we go kicking and screaming, or quietly that is our own choice. I love life and will fight for living it to the fullest until that time comes. I have my piano and my four dogs. Don't know what I'd do without them. Don't know what I'd do without this site where we can truly be honest about things. I"m so glad to have found you. You are such an inspiration to us here.