@tsch I thought I had mentioned that in my intro, but if not, yes, dementia complicates things.

The place where the challenges of dementia come through most clearly is the issue of medical aid in dying. If I have dementia, and it's incurable, do I have the right to ask for medical aid in dying? Is there a stage in my dementia where I stop having that right? Who gets to decide that my life should be prolonged as long as possible, and who gets to decide when and what kinds of treatment should be withheld even if doing so means I am likely to die more quickly? Should I be treated for cancer if I have dementia? What if I find the experience terrifying -- is a longer life bought with a 24/7 state of fear and terror justified? What if moving out of my house and into an unfamiliar place would accelerate my decline and death? These are very, very hard questions in response to which reasonable, ethical, caring people can deeply disagree.

I think it's important to recognize that at the least, mild cognitive impairment is insufficient justification for someone else to own your choices. I'm just not sure where the line gets to be drawn. And I'm not sure who gets to draw it. It is, however, a great reason to have an honest -- and perhaps ruthless -- conversation with family, friends, and an attorney before there is any question concerning your state of mind; to be very clear about your preferences and expectations; and to withhold the right to make decisions on your behalf from anyone who would be unwilling to comply with those preferences. Don't hand over your health proxy and power of attorney to anyone, child of yours or not, who would make very different choices than you would prefer. Keep in mind that you wouldn't be doing them any favors, either -- just imagine how stressful it would be to have to choose not to do (or do) what you, as the child, deeply believe is the best answer, when that answer is exactly what your parent would not want.

I'm not a professional ethicist (just a person with a deep family history of dementia who has given this situation some thought) -- perhaps someone else is who can bring some clarification here.