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The Driver's License Discussion...
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 1 minute ago | Replies (14)Comment receiving replies
@cyds I do. It sounds like our husbands are on a parallel path with driving. I push to be the driver when we’re together and he is on board with that. I AM nervous about the implications of him driving, but haven’t pushed for anything yet. It’s a can of worms that I’m too chicken to open.
But also, I have thought about a paper divorce to protect our assets (home and 401k) in case there are future, large care costs, and I don’t know much about that. We are seeing an elder lawyer Friday so I should put that on my list of questions.
Good luck to you. I’ll try to post to you if I find some good info on that.
Replies to "@cyds I do. It sounds like our husbands are on a parallel path with driving. I..."
@lkbous
My husband has Lewy Body Dementia and Vascular Dementia and hasn't driven in 8 years. I'm a retired lawyer and I quietly explained to my husband that if he was in an accident it would not matter if it was his fault or not if someone sued us. That the attorney would obtain his medical records and his diagnosis would make it his fault. When he continued to want to drive I explained that I had worked just as hard as he had and that I was not going to finish my life in poverty when someone sued us for everything we had after he injured someone. He gave up driving but would periodically bring it up. The next response he received was that if he really wanted to drive I would prepare the divorce papers giving me everything and then I would buy him a clunker to drive. I don't think at that point he was sure if I was serious or not. After that if he brought it up I would just say that we had had that discussion and I wasn't revisiting it and then I would change the subject. This went on for at least a year and periodically for several years after. Letting the BMV be the bad guy is a great idea. It is not a pleasant topic. We are all so used to having a vehicle and all the freedom it provides that it is very difficult to give up. I would suggest being careful in promising to drive your loved anywhere anytime. That can back fire on you very quickly.
Can you please explain how the insurance situation unfolded? Does a diagnosis automatically take them off the policy?
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@lkbous Please do let me (us) know what the lawyer says. I'll be looking for an elder lawyer myself... Thank you for that!