Its getting better, I think

Posted by Denise @denisestlouie, 15 hours ago

I'm in a weird place when it comes to cancer therapy. I don't have active cancer but I can't say I'm cured. I have a chronic ilnessl that I will have to keep caged away for the rest of my life. I have 2 chronic illnesses it's not just cancer.

Being here is like living in 2 worlds intermittently. One day I'm living the dream. I feel great. I'm healthy. I'm socially active. I'm still working. All is good, right?

Then my brain decides to move into analytical mode. I start hearing numbers and odds running through my head. Then It's time to go to the lab for blood work and back to the infusion room. It's a cycle that's happens every three weeks. This time I cried at my doctor's appointment in fount of everyone. Why? I think it was a release.

The last cycle was tough because we had major plumbing issues the week Mel had knee replacement surgery and I had just weeks to take a securities exam. Having to take the exam was frustrating. It was for a licenses in which I have been grandfathered to do for 30 years.

The idea of reducing stress is ridiculous. Stressors happen. It's how we respond that matters. I think I did pretty good these past few weeks. I only snapped at a few people and only cried once at the doctor's

Denise

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korinja | @korinja | 12 hours ago

You look fabulous!

I hope to be where you are someday. I was supposed to start maintenance therapy last week. A CT scan the day before showed new large “cystic masses” in my liver. My surgeon wasn’t concerned but my oncologist and the radiologist were. My tumor markers increased slightly. I have a PET scan this week to get more information. It’s been such a long difficult journey for me and I was so hoping to have a slight reprieve from all of it. I’m terrified of what comes next.

Your posts are always so encouraging. Thank you for sharing your strength. < 3

jenelleseaman | @jenelleseaman | 10 hours ago

I’ve cried at a doctors appointment when it was good news! Sometimes everything is just a little overwhelming. The reason I cried was because I knew the battle wasn’t over.
As I’ve said before, I’m in a waiting pattern at the moment until November. Eventually it’s the 3 weekly cycle of gemcitabine and carboplatin. I’m enjoying life while I wait. Why worry? It’s a waste of energy and time!