Hi All -

I've made my decision. While I'm just at the beginning of my journey with bladder cancer, here's what I learned so far.

This is a very personal decision and there is not one size that fits all, take the time and speak with multiple individuals who have each, listen to their personal experiences, and determine which may best fit your value set and what you may be attempting to achieve with your urinary tract reconstruction and life post surgery.

My first goal is to beat cancer and if I could be assured RC will achieve that, personally it would not matter to me which one I choose, if I beat cancer I could manage either. There are no such guarantees for me at this point, so I have to make a call ileal conduct or neobladder?

I have family members and close friends with a stoma/bag and I'm not intimidated by the body appearances. I was not also afraid to self-catheterize so I felt I was starting with a fairly neutral position.

Neither one is without its own set of challenges and sacrifices, nor did any group seem to think either restricted what they wanted to do as time passed, and they adapted to their new normal. Even with complications and challenges along the way, each individual I spoke with was content with the decision they made in the end.

My decision was an ileal conduit, which better matched my person objectives:
Recover more quickly
Fewer possible complications
Get to my new normal sooner
Felt it would not restrict what I wanted to do after surgery
If additional treatment was necessary soon after surgery, it allowed me to focus on my next treatment not managing through my next treatment at the same time of learning and training a new bladder.
Should all go well, and I live to an old age, stoma/bag would be easier to manage for caregivers than catheterizing an old man 🙂

There was another thing which I learned through my conversations. In a world of seemly so much chaos, division, and just the fast pace of life in general I feel fortunate and blessed to have been connected with so many wonderful, kind, caring, and compassionate people in this journey of bladder cancer. While this a journey no one hopes for, you are not in it alone...your worries, struggles, & challenges are felt by so many others,,,, family, friends, colleagues at work, caregivers, and complete strangers at first which end up feeling like lifelong friend/family after a short conversation.

When diagnosed on August 7th everything seemed to stand still in my world even though it has been such a quick process to RC scheduled on 10/8. The last two month have seemed like two years. I'm content as one could be, feel confident in my health choices, ready for the surgery, have a great support group, an excellent care team at Dana Faber/Brigham Womens hospital so I feel I've put myself in the best position possible for a good outcome. Yes I'm still scared, but I've done all I can do; have faith in my choices and believes and am praying to get a little good fortune along way for the best possible outcome.

Take care my friends!