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Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question
Aging Well | Last Active: 8 hours ago | Replies (559)Comment receiving replies
@isadora2021 thanks for your understanding and opinion. Your father is blessed to have family that is taking turns caring for him. My Mom is off and on health wise, but sometimes I'm not sure if it's more emotional than physical. The Assisted living facility has a full calendar of social events and entertainment, which my Mom enjoyed for a while, but she's so focused on returning home and looks for things to complain about.
You bring up another point about having having all their money in tied up in the house. I've considered looking into a Reveres Mortgage so she can use the equity in her home as she needs it, or get a HELOC (Home Equity Line of credit) that she can use as needed with a low interest rate of 5.99%. The level 3 care at the Assisted living facility is extremely expensive and could run out quicker than if she returned home, and have a live in caregiver that lives there practically rent free in exchange for the care, or even gets paid very little as caregiver.
From what I can seen about the reputable Reverse mortgage lenders, it seems to be a good option.
Replies to "@isadora2021 thanks for your understanding and opinion. Your father is blessed to have family that is..."
Be very careful. Reverse mortgages can be a minefield. Do your homework and consult an attorney.
@mrmj There are so many things to consider financially with the home and hiring a caregiver. Have you sat down with pencil and pad to formulate a spending plan/budget that takes into consideration all the costs in keeping up the home itself and then all the medical costs and that of a caregiver, especially if you are considering a reverse mortgage. The reverse mortgage is not always what it is hoped to be so be sure you understand all the costs and the time frame you are projecting out, in terms of years ahead and the actual costs. How long will such a budget be needed for (that's a hard one) and especially with increases in costs that always happen.
I, myself, have several times sat down with pencil and pad with two columns to see a comparison of costs. One column for living at home with costs and the other in a facility and costs. For now at 83 and good health, I'm staying put in my ranch home, small community and my ability to get around easily, and sure footed, with my two feet and my car for getting what I need.
Hopefully when needed it will be a short time for me if I have to go into a facility....none are what we want them to be for various reasons.
Also, hopefully, caregivers in the home are honest, truly caring people and stay for the duration for the time they are needed.
Barbara
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@mrmj That vacillation by your mom makes it even more difficult to decide what to do. What’s the bet that she would want to go back to the care housing, with its social interactions and care, as soon as she moved back?!
I would also worry whether you can all provide the care she would need 24/7 as well as the socialisation, even if she gets a live in nurse. I’m not sure it’s practical.
My dad is nearly 91 and has mild dementia. He’d get lost if he walked out the front gate. My sister is a clinical nurse and I was a lawyer. At some stage we too will be in a similar position to you, needing to help my dad make big decisions and making sure he’s as happy as he can be and safe.
We did think of a reverse mortgage to keep dad in his home but there are so many sad stories. I’m lucky I can loan money to my dad interest free otherwise we would also need to be considerng a reverse mortgage. Worth looking into if your mom doesn’t want to sell and wants to keep ownership and control of her home.
I’d throw that reverse mortgage question into reddit! It does have its uses!