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A Life Well Lived
I'm a financial advisor by profession. I have spent my life planning for the future and teaching people how to use their resources to accomplish what they are planning. Most of the time they have wanted to educate their kids and to retire financially comfortably. Along the way we usually have to make adjustments to that plan because life went in another direction.
I'm no exception. During my life I've had to change my hopes for the future many times. I've started over in both marriage and career more than once. I struggled with infertility when having a family was important to me. Every time I came through those experiences feeling like I live a charmed life, because I was standing in a good place. A place that I was able to piece together that was comfortable and I had all I needed and often times more.
I had an awesome plan before cancer. I own my own practice. That means I could work as much as I wanted for as long as I wanted. I was planning on working into my 70s. I enjoy my clients and I enjoy the income. My ultimate goal was to make my daughter a very wealthy woman when I die at a very old age.
I expected to live long. I'm from a long lived family. My fear was that I would live to long and run out of resources. Then came the cancer diagnosis. That was shocking enough, but then I learn that my cancer cell line is rare, aggressive, resistant to treatment and comes with a poor prognosis. How do I put the pieces together after that?
The diagnosis is less than 4 months. It's been a whirlwind of activity. Most of my education about my situation has been through research I do myself and then asking the providers their opinion on what I learned. The Doctors and Nurses Practitioners are limited in the time they have with me. Their objected is to assess my well bing and they don't have time to go into the kind of detail that a person like me wants to know.
Four months is enough time though to realize all hope is not lost. I do have the opportunity to do things thing that will help me rid my body of cancer.
I'm adjusting my plan once again. I want to live long and I don't want to be distraught if learn that I won't. That's a tricky plan to put together. Be where:
"The best-laid plans of mice and men oft' go awry …and leave us nothing but grief and pain, For promised joy!” Robert Burns
The moral of that poem for me today is that I need to see the joy of everyday and know that my plan my never come to fruition, not for the lack of planning but because life has a way of doing its own thing.
I have decided to make cancer life style changes the focus of my plan and to make that an enjoyable pursuit. I already made many of those changes before the knowledge of cancer so I'm well on my way.
Yesterday I told my trainer I wanted to be a bodybuilder and showed him a video of a 72 year old woman bodybuilder. I'm also well in my way for that as well. I have lost 40 pounds over the past 2 years and I'm very lean. I'm also muscler.
I'm going to keep working but with a different mind set. I need to work because I love the interaction I have with my clients. The income is very good and it will allow me to spoil myself, my daughter and the man I love. I'm a financial planner. I have purchased the products that will make my daughter wealthy even if I don't become a very old lady. I don't have to keep up with the Jones and I never did, usually.
I've got this! No matter what life brings me I'm going to be able to adjust my plan. Living long isn't as important as a life well lived.
To all of you who are in a journey similar to mine, you have the ability to have a life well lived. Godspeed to you.
Picture is from last night. A witches walk with my sister and soulmate.
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@alohman08
Thank you for sharing your story. You give me inspiration!
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1 Reaction@alohman08 At diagnosis, after your surgery, you only did radiation, correct? I'd like to confirm because I have the same cancer and stage. My plan was to do nothing, but doctor just told me he recommends chemo and possibly radiation too. I'm shocked!
@inquirer Hi I asked my doctor about chemo and radiation and he told me that chemo was not necessary and would not change the possibility of recurrence...he recommended three treatments of internal vaginal radiation which was awkward but quick (4 min) with no side effects. I wonder if I had had chemotherapy would the cancer have recurred 18 months later ? He told me before I had surgery that the cancer was rare and aggressive and although caught very early, probability of recurrence was high....After surgery with no spread anywhere not even a lymph node....he only recommended radiation and i listened. I'm being treated at MSK in NY. I beleive that I am being treated appropriately...it just sucks that I am still in treatment with a form of chemo which thankfully has stopped the cancer ( PET Scan in July was NED) but it is a maintenance drug with no end in sight......if it keeps cancer at bay, I'm happy and I pray that it does...I'm told that if it should stop being effective, there are other good drugs to tackle this cancer..... You are the first person I have heard from who has the same nasty cancer....I wish you the best and know that chemo sounds worse than it has been for me and lots of other people....keep a positive attitude and live a healthy life style and its a bump in the road nothing more !
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1 Reaction@alohman08 Thank you! I'm in California, but I flew to MSK twice to consult with oncologists. They were excellent! My oncologists here in Los Angeles consulted with them too, due to the rarity of this cancer, hoping they had seen more stage 1 cases. Seems like the early stage of our disease is the most difficult to discern. In later stages, treatment is clearer because they just do everything.
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1 Reaction@inquirer Good morning...it sounds like your doctors are as informed as the oncologists at MSK which should give you some comfort...Is your cancer HER2+ ? Mine is and apparently there are more treatment options for HER2+ cancer. I agree with you that there doesn't appear to be a proven preventative treatment to stop the recurrence of a cancer that presumably was found and removed in its entirety with surgery.
@alohman08 @inquirer You both highlight the importance of going to a comprehensive cancer center such as MSK (Memorial Sloan Kettering) in NYC.
National Cancer Institute - NCI Designated Centers
-- https://www.cancer.gov/research/infrastructure/cancer-centers
I went to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. It was inconvenient. When I was diagnosed with endometrioid adenocarcinoma (one of the most common endometrial cancers) I would have asked for appointments at another comprehensive cancer center such as MSK or MD Anderson if I thought it was needed. Local care feels good because you can stay at your own home and extensive travel isn't needed. But....if it works I want the expertise of well, the experts.
@alohman08 Don't know if mine is HERS+ yet. They are doing genetic sequencing now. I may have complicated things by having my surgery done at UCI where the best surgeon was (published with MSK) and UCLA where the best chemo oncologist is. It's an effort to get info shared between the two sometimes but it's worth it for me. I believe I have among the best in the industry for each discipline; and all use MSK for independent evaluations.
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1 Reaction@naturegirl5 Thank you! Went to the link you provided and both UCI and UCLA are there. I didn't know about NCI. I just went world renowned people for my type of cancer and that's where they happened to be. It makes sense.
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1 Reaction@inquirer It sounds like you are in the very best of hands...When I was diagnosed and told that my cancer was rare and aggressive, I saw 2 surgeons who came recommended, I went with the doctor from MSK, because I felt MSK would be a better choice than my local hospital in NJ.. I moved very quickly and had surgery 14 days after my diagnosis, the aggresive nature of the cancer scared me so I moved as quickly as possible to have it removed. Looking back now, I wonder if I should have done a little research on finding the right surgeon for me?? water under the bridge at this point...when my cancer recurred, again I moved quickly and was sent to an oncologist at MSK that the radiologist who was seeing me after my surgery, sent me to. She is very young and apparently does research 4 days a week and see patients one day....I started chemo 1 week after I was diagnosed with a recurrence. Everything was fast tracked because of the aggressive nature of this cancer. My point being that I did not take time to research what doctors would be the best ones to have treat my cancer . I felt that I had to act quickly and that MSK would provide the proper care.. I'm alive and very well 4 years later after 2 recurrences ....I've been able to continue doing everything that I love to do...pilates 5 mornings a week pickleball 3 times a week and 4 mile walks 4 times a week. Playing with my grandkids, walking and playing with my newly adopted pup. Enjoying the company of friends ...life is good and I am grateful for the care I have been given ....I'm certain that you will do extremely well with whatever treatment you receive. Please keep me updated !
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2 Reactions@alohman08
Thank you for sharing your inspirational story.
I have a really good friend who has non Hodgkin lymphoma and has been in remission 9 years after being told by oncologist nothing could be done and he and his wife started whole food plant based eating. So I’ve been familiar with his journey and hoping it might work wonders for me too.