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Dealing with a Spouse with a “Mild Cognitive Impairment”
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 4 hours ago | Replies (337)Comment receiving replies
This is my first time posting. Thank you all for your generous insights. Perhaps you can help me with this. My 75 year old husband of 55 years has been diagnosed MCI about a year ago. He has 9 heart stents and had a TAVR heart valve (cow) 2 years ago. Just been diagnosed with blood inflection, possibly around the heart. I took him to bunches of drs before I could get correct diagnosis. Then he had a 4 day stay in the hospital. He's home now and I have to administer his antibiotic for 4 weeks at home via push. Then two more weeks of oral antibiotic. He is disoriented, seems worse after I give him him the meds in the morning and if he has not had a lot of sleep. He fixated on the idea that there is another person with my name which, of course, there is not. I probably shouldn't correct him each time but I do as it kind of hurts.
Sometimes he talks about me as the other person. Sometimes forgets I am his wife, that we live in this house for 27 years etc. etc.etc. Any suggestions as to how to deal with this fixation would be greatly appreciated.
Replies to "This is my first time posting. Thank you all for your generous insights. Perhaps you can..."
@reddesert Welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect! You’re having a tough time, but you’ve come to the right place.
So you’re doing home IV care for your husband. Did the hospital offer you some help like Home Care nurses? If not,call the hospital and tell them that you really need help! Having someone else do the IV antibiotics will free you up and maybe make him more cooperative. But I’m going to stop talking and let some of the very knowledgeable members help you! Again, welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect!
@reddesert I just have found it easier to go along with what they say. I know it hurts you but they do not know the difference if you correct them and I think it just adds to their confusion. Keep it simple. Hope that might help.
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@reddesert Actually the only thing I would suggest is that you cannot reason with someone that is no longer remembering conversations, comments and things you have discussed with them. Sometimes they forget everything. Go with the moment. My spouse blames me for everything. I just helped him to get cleaned after trying to get for 3 days. I said to him you need to raise your arms so I can clean you. He said I was ordering him and yelling. We have a 12 ft. ceiling in our shower. Everything echoes. He has the sharpest nails. He scratches himself all the time. He is on asprin so I have his bed covered and the couch in our den. That ceiling is 12 ft. Same scenerio. We have 8ft. and 10 ft. ceilings in the rest of the house. Noise bounces off easily. He drives me nuts with the conversation that he is going to get someone in to give him a shower. No, we cannot afford it and is not necessary. I tried reasoning again. I was screamed at again. Believe me when I say that I just remove myself from him so I will not say something that I am feeling. He tells me how to cook, wash windows , make a bed..you name it. I love him but...this gets to be a bit much. We are human and we will get so frustrated. Love and prayers your way. Caregiver opinion. Doing this for many yrs.