Yes, this is such a normal feeling. It’s a change in body image, even though you will wake up with a small breast mound from the expander. Losing any part of your body, especially something that is so related to being a female, is difficult to deal with. It’s ok to allow yourself to grieve. It’s ok to be scared. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to others to discuss your feelings and see how others coped. I have to say, I cried a lot in private before the surgery. I was shocked when I woke up that I viewed my chest differently than I thought I would (double mastectomies). In some way, it was a relief to know that the surgery was over and the cancer gone. I knew that being flat was temporary and this was the beginning of my journey to being cancer free. Like I said, I was shocked that I didn’t feel immense sadness and grief when I woke up. I don’t know if anyone else has experienced this other than me. Praying for you and sending hugs. I know this is a very overwhelming time.