@earline14
Okay, Can we at least sit and talk with others HERE EVERY TODAY and agree to postpone it for the NEXT DAY?

Now let's see what you have told us: You say,
1- "My few friends have left me" and your children...
2- "have their own issues and can not or will not help me."

But where's the THIRD PERSON, who IS and always has been with you?
Isn't that person ALSO wants to help YOU even if you seem to be drowning that voice of yours, even if feeble?

Are u with us?
Can you hear us who are almost screaming with their damp eyes to HOLD it at least the next day?

Look, are you sitting? if not sit down and let's go thru what u have told us here. You have said others -- friends and children -- have given up on you. So What! A'nt there also people besides those who don't care about you also alive and could become the kind of 'friend' who you could confide into and you in them?

Now imagine what kind of people YOU want. And this is going to be tough but also get you closer to what you Truly Want.
Would you really want someone who too has given up on Even LISTENING to others who are trying to help him/her?
Of course not -- you want people who LIKE themselves. Like people like others tho we all get 'unlikable' now and then, which is human.

So really the question is what do You think You don't like yourself about? We a'nt born disliking ourselves, though early age upbringing can impact our sense of self. And yet as Grown Ups (yes growing also means growing Out our past keeps us back) we make our lives among others being our own Authentic selves, each with their unique gifts, warts and all.

Shall we talk tomorrow....let's do that!