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What are you best tips for being more patient?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: 3 days ago | Replies (68)Comment receiving replies
Two things I can think of:
If you do not internalize the negative energy which manifests itself inside you as frustration and anger, then you do not need patience because there is nothing you are "bottling up."
It's like Tai Chi (a valuable daily practice). You don't plant yourself in front of the energy and do battle with it. You see it coming and dance to the side or up to get out of its way, just going on with your caretaking duties and letting the negative energy fly by with neither resistance or collection, both of which will exhaust you.
In short, you can't change the circumstances or the effort required of you. You can change how you think/feel about it and how you react.
The other is the power of love. My wife and I have devoted our lives to each other for more than 50 years. There is nothing either of us wouldn't do for the other gladly in gratitude for our lives together.
If that's not love, what is?
Replies to "Two things I can think of: If you do not internalize the negative energy which manifests..."
@shmerdloff This is a second reply to let you know how much your support has meant to me. I am a better person today than I was yesterday, thanks to the advice I received from you and others who responded. What felt impossible now feels doable. Although I have a long journey ahead, it looks brighter and happier now. What a difference you have made for me. Thank you!
I found your advice to be an extremely powerful reminder: Love is all there is. Being a loving caregiving, however, is daunting.
Face it: For many of us, life no longer seems like living, and it is difficult to be joyful, have fun or be funny when we know the inevitable. I miss our former selves and our prior life but my role now is to make my husband as comfortable as possible. That, however, hasn't deterred me from being Cruella de Vil.
Last night, I decided to picture myself as an usher at a wedding ceremony--ushering her Prince down the aisle to eternal rest and union with God.
I also found this reading helpful:
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@shmerdloff thank you for taking time to support me in this struggle. I'm visualizing your advice to let negative energy fly by with neither resistance or collection. Right now, I feel as if it would be a long road to reach that place, and the first steps may be the hardest. I may not be able today, yet I am certainly willing. Congratulations on your 50+ years together - that's marvelous. Thank you again!