Well Marcia, your husband is indeed a survivor.  Regarding the urologist who is working with you, I have not heard of a high risk of dying within three weeks of the bladder surgery.  The Mayo Clinic staff went over the risks very carefully with me and I would have paid attention to the higher risk of death for three weeks after surgery if it had been mentioned.  I also don't understand the "too old" comment.  I'm 73 and got my neobladder in my 60's - my surgeon is now Chair of Urology at the Arizona Mayo Clinic and he was not bothered by my age.In fact, I'm offended by the "too old" comment.  Not every urologist is capable of creating a neobladder and I wonder how capable your urologist is in creating one.  Dr. Robert Ferrigni used a stapler to form the colon and bowel tissue into a bladder.  The entire operation took about 4 hours, though my doctor is called Dr. Ferrari by the nurses due to his speed in the operating room.  The operation takes about 6 hours in some locations.  How much quicker is making a pouch for the urine?  More importantly, the pouch leaves a conduit into your body, a potential source of infection and constant problems.  The neobladder removes these problems as the original plumbing is used for urination.  Talk with a couple of patients with pouches and you'll see the value of the neobladder as a means to reduce infections.It took a couple of months to train my neobladder, though day time training is pretty quick.  Nights will depend somewhat on the size of the neobladder and how much one drinks before sleeping.  My  neobladder was cut down in size when I had a reoccurrence of the cancer in my left kidney and ureter so I use some large bedpads and Depend adult incontinence panties at night.  Still, my quality of life is excellent despite some accommodations for the leaking.  Not having to worry about a stoma is a major advantage to the neobladder and well worth pursuing, if possible.  My original neobladder held a full liter, according to the surgeon.  I'm down to about 10 ounces now and that's stretching it!  Are you folks located in an area with somewhat limited medical resources?  Your urologist's patronizing comments suggest he/she has limited competition locally.  It would be interesting to write the Hospital requesting their age cut off policies for various operations.  If the Hospital Administrater does not realize they have an age cut off for neobladder construction in cancer patients he or she should be so informed.  Sounds a lot like age discrimination.

Yes, we do live in a largely rural area in Central Illinois but seeking treatment in Chicago for a second opinion is definitely doable. I'm so glad you are a strong proponent of the neo bladder option. Well, we'll know what path we'll have to take soon enough. Another adventure...