Hi Alice,
I'm so sorry that you are lonely. It's hard to deal with loneliness. My husband died a year ago and I have been coping with loneliness ever since. This forum has been a big help to me. There are a lot of very nice people on here who would love to communicate with you. I have found it really good at keeping me from being too lonely. Also talking to God helps me too. I don't have too many others to talk to. I'm 79 and most everyone I knew have died and gone to Heaven even the neighbor's cat who really liked me!
Keeping busy helps also. My husband had lung cancer and the last year of his life I was really busy taking care of him. A lot of cleaning and gardening got neglected so now I'm trying to catch up. I'm also realizing that I don't have the energy at 79 that I had at 49!
What is your situation? What has caused you to be lonely? I'd be interested in hearing your story if you would like to share it.
PML
I turn 70 in two weeks. My husband passed from pancreatic cancer 5 ago we lived in Australia when he passed Covid had just started so I was in Basic lockdown and since I refused vaccination I was also not allowed to fly until finally they allowed me to fly and I was able to come home to the states and I have Rheumatoid and this last year after 30 of not many symptoms I have now been having flares and in pain and so many other things it’s just super depressing
Hi Alice,
It was nice to hear from you. I'm so sorry to hear of your husband dying. I know that is hard for a person to deal with. My husband died a year ago. All of a sudden your world is so different. Plus with you being in Australia and not able to come home right away must have been especially difficult. Do you have family and friends near now you are back in the US?
That is too bad that you have Rheumatoid. That can be so painful. I hope you have found a doctor that you like. Also just researching it on the Mayo Clinic Website might be helpful in finding some relief on it for the pain.
I would suggest that you just give all your problems up to God. That's what I do. It does help. Have faith. God answers prayers and will straighten things out for you. I know he has for me. I'll say a prayer for you also.
I want to wish you an early Happy Birthday! 70 is really quite young. I'm 79, That's getting old!
I wish you the best.
PML
I read alot as it takes me to other places.
I like mysteries as they
give me a puzzle to figure out= keeping your mind active.
Besides fiction, try reading about loneliness as it may give you some ideas for coping as it is a universal problem.
Being alone is a curse & a blessing. I think participation in ANYTHING
takes your mind away from loneliness for a bit.
@aliceelias
We don't know your medical and mental health history, nor your age. We (I) can only pass on your experience and how we handled mental heatlth concerns.
Do you have family living close to you? Maybe reach out to them.
Do you have friends? Reach out and spend some quality time with them.
Like a hobby join a group and enjoy an activity with others liking same and going to find others with similiar interests.
Like to exercise? Join an exercise group or find a YMCA (yes first word is youth but many programs for seniors and all ages). Do you like water aerobics or think you might. I do water aerobics 5 days a week. Totally enjoy doing exercise to music. Met and made many friends there who also love doing this activity and we all enjoy each others company.
Do you like pets? Having a loving dog or cat is really going to left up your depression. Just be aware they do need to be taken care of. But I found the love I give my dog he gives me twice the love back. I was diagnosed with PTSD anxiety/panic disorder and my dog has been designated (Mayo Psychiatric Department) as a PTSD Service dog. He is so much more than that and brings a lot of joy and happines to me.
One of the this with a dog is you have to walk them for exercise. Then you meet other dog walkers who also love their dogs and again you meet others with similiar likes. Not discounted cats. I had one for 18 years and he loved to play. I would play hide and seek with him. I would put him on my bed then run and hide. He would search the house to find me and always did. Sound strange but we both loved doing it that and that is what is important. Find something you like doing with or without others.
I’m so sorry I turn 70 in less than weeks. No friends because I was in Australia for 20 years, after husband passed away I came back to the USA and went to work then I had my very first flare and going on 2 years now still a daily battle and depression kicked in. Yes I have family near by but I feel like I am intruding on their lives, so I sit here along
Hi Alice,
It was nice to hear from you. I'm so sorry to hear of your husband dying. I know that is hard for a person to deal with. My husband died a year ago. All of a sudden your world is so different. Plus with you being in Australia and not able to come home right away must have been especially difficult. Do you have family and friends near now you are back in the US?
That is too bad that you have Rheumatoid. That can be so painful. I hope you have found a doctor that you like. Also just researching it on the Mayo Clinic Website might be helpful in finding some relief on it for the pain.
I would suggest that you just give all your problems up to God. That's what I do. It does help. Have faith. God answers prayers and will straighten things out for you. I know he has for me. I'll say a prayer for you also.
I want to wish you an early Happy Birthday! 70 is really quite young. I'm 79, That's getting old!
I wish you the best.
PML
I read alot as it takes me to other places.
I like mysteries as they
give me a puzzle to figure out= keeping your mind active.
Besides fiction, try reading about loneliness as it may give you some ideas for coping as it is a universal problem.
Being alone is a curse & a blessing. I think participation in ANYTHING
takes your mind away from loneliness for a bit.
Hi Kayramat,
You are so right about reading! I love to read! It does take you away from your current situation and/or problems. I like to read books written back in the 1500's. It's interesting to see what life was like in those days. Very different from life today. Can you imagine getting on a horse or in a horse drawn carriage just to go to the store? Which was probably 10 miles away?
One thing about being alone is that you have plenty of time to get things done!
PML
I read alot as it takes me to other places.
I like mysteries as they
give me a puzzle to figure out= keeping your mind active.
Besides fiction, try reading about loneliness as it may give you some ideas for coping as it is a universal problem.
Being alone is a curse & a blessing. I think participation in ANYTHING
takes your mind away from loneliness for a bit.
I’m so sorry I turn 70 in less than weeks. No friends because I was in Australia for 20 years, after husband passed away I came back to the USA and went to work then I had my very first flare and going on 2 years now still a daily battle and depression kicked in. Yes I have family near by but I feel like I am intruding on their lives, so I sit here along
@aliceelias
Do you have access to a primary care doctor? Asked for a visit and go over your depression with him. There are excellent medications out there to help with depression.
And there are many things you can do lifestyle wise to help you also. You are 70 do you have access to a senior center? If so they have a lot of actitivies and consulers to help you.
Maybe consider writing your family and let them know how you feel if you think you are intruding on their lives. You may be surprised but they will never know of your depression if you do not reach out to them.
HI Everyone,
I can understand all you being lonely. You all had full lives with children, husbands and work. Now it is just you. I want you to know that you can be lonely even with people around you like family. I was never a social butterfly, but I have a family still. No husband because I am divorced. I live with my son now. The rest of my family are not near me. They are rather far away. Of course, my son does not talk to me much, he has his own things to do. Sadly, he never cares how I am doing or what is new with me, even though I ask him. I know he would rather not have me here, but circumstances make it impossible for me to live anywhere else. I am just no fun anymore because of my disabilities. So I am just as lonely if no one was here. I know you have to put yourself out there. Call your town and see what is available for seniors, and the same for churches. You and only you can put yourself out there again. It takes work. I know each town has a senior center. If you are able body, then get out. I know churches have youth that would love to visit or do an errand for you. If you have a state that has Senior Division, then call them. They have a lot of helpful things. There is also a place called Independent Living that is usually a county thing. They are also useful. I know many times I feel I am just sitting here waiting to die. I am 72 yrs old now. I am active on the computer and I do graphic designs and I am in many groups that we share what we make online. I am also running for a seat on my HOA board. It is possible to still have a full life. Just look around. You can help others as well if you can. Meals on Wheels always need help. So just look. God Bless you all. Life is worth living again.
On the 27th of this month I will be 91. I find it hard to believe. My husband died four years ago. We were together for 62 years. I have 2 sons, but only a relationship with one of them. He lives very far from me. Thankfully we can communicate in real time thanks to the computer. Other than that I have no support system. I am not particularly social so have very few friends. Actually more like friendly acquaintances. I spend days on end alone with only myself to talk to. I have had therapy and decided to start it again. I am fortunate to be healthy. I am able to take care of myself, drive, cook, do laundry, etc. But this is not all of what life is and I miss the other part. Also due to my great age all my peers are gone.
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I turn 70 in two weeks. My husband passed from pancreatic cancer 5 ago we lived in Australia when he passed Covid had just started so I was in Basic lockdown and since I refused vaccination I was also not allowed to fly until finally they allowed me to fly and I was able to come home to the states and I have Rheumatoid and this last year after 30 of not many symptoms I have now been having flares and in pain and so many other things it’s just super depressing
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2 ReactionsHi Alice,
It was nice to hear from you. I'm so sorry to hear of your husband dying. I know that is hard for a person to deal with. My husband died a year ago. All of a sudden your world is so different. Plus with you being in Australia and not able to come home right away must have been especially difficult. Do you have family and friends near now you are back in the US?
That is too bad that you have Rheumatoid. That can be so painful. I hope you have found a doctor that you like. Also just researching it on the Mayo Clinic Website might be helpful in finding some relief on it for the pain.
I would suggest that you just give all your problems up to God. That's what I do. It does help. Have faith. God answers prayers and will straighten things out for you. I know he has for me. I'll say a prayer for you also.
I want to wish you an early Happy Birthday! 70 is really quite young. I'm 79, That's getting old!
I wish you the best.
PML
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Like -
Helpful -
Hug
6 ReactionsI read alot as it takes me to other places.
I like mysteries as they
give me a puzzle to figure out= keeping your mind active.
Besides fiction, try reading about loneliness as it may give you some ideas for coping as it is a universal problem.
Being alone is a curse & a blessing. I think participation in ANYTHING
takes your mind away from loneliness for a bit.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
4 ReactionsI’m so sorry I turn 70 in less than weeks. No friends because I was in Australia for 20 years, after husband passed away I came back to the USA and went to work then I had my very first flare and going on 2 years now still a daily battle and depression kicked in. Yes I have family near by but I feel like I am intruding on their lives, so I sit here along
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Helpful -
Hug
2 ReactionsThank you
Hi Kayramat,
You are so right about reading! I love to read! It does take you away from your current situation and/or problems. I like to read books written back in the 1500's. It's interesting to see what life was like in those days. Very different from life today. Can you imagine getting on a horse or in a horse drawn carriage just to go to the store? Which was probably 10 miles away?
One thing about being alone is that you have plenty of time to get things done!
PML
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Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsHi Kayraymat,
Forgive me for spelling your name wrong in my former reply to your comment.
PML
@aliceelias
Do you have access to a primary care doctor? Asked for a visit and go over your depression with him. There are excellent medications out there to help with depression.
And there are many things you can do lifestyle wise to help you also. You are 70 do you have access to a senior center? If so they have a lot of actitivies and consulers to help you.
Maybe consider writing your family and let them know how you feel if you think you are intruding on their lives. You may be surprised but they will never know of your depression if you do not reach out to them.
-
Like -
Helpful -
Hug
3 ReactionsHI Everyone,
I can understand all you being lonely. You all had full lives with children, husbands and work. Now it is just you. I want you to know that you can be lonely even with people around you like family. I was never a social butterfly, but I have a family still. No husband because I am divorced. I live with my son now. The rest of my family are not near me. They are rather far away. Of course, my son does not talk to me much, he has his own things to do. Sadly, he never cares how I am doing or what is new with me, even though I ask him. I know he would rather not have me here, but circumstances make it impossible for me to live anywhere else. I am just no fun anymore because of my disabilities. So I am just as lonely if no one was here. I know you have to put yourself out there. Call your town and see what is available for seniors, and the same for churches. You and only you can put yourself out there again. It takes work. I know each town has a senior center. If you are able body, then get out. I know churches have youth that would love to visit or do an errand for you. If you have a state that has Senior Division, then call them. They have a lot of helpful things. There is also a place called Independent Living that is usually a county thing. They are also useful. I know many times I feel I am just sitting here waiting to die. I am 72 yrs old now. I am active on the computer and I do graphic designs and I am in many groups that we share what we make online. I am also running for a seat on my HOA board. It is possible to still have a full life. Just look around. You can help others as well if you can. Meals on Wheels always need help. So just look. God Bless you all. Life is worth living again.
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Like -
Helpful -
Hug
5 ReactionsI feel for you and I am so sorry. I hope you are able to talk to your son more often. Do you have a pet?