Hi Parkerbear,
I'm so sorry you are going through this! I can tell by what you have written that you are feeling very used and lonely. I don't blame you at all. What your wife did is so wrong but she'll have to explain it to the Lord eventually like we all will have to also. You mentioned you wanted someone to talk to. Well, my husband died a year ago and since I'm 79 most of my friends are up in Heaven with my husband. So, I don't have that many people to talk to either. If you don't' mind talking to an "old lady", I have plenty of time.

I would suggest that you also talk to God. Just talk to him like he's your best friend and he is! God has gotten me through this last awful year since my husband died. I don't know what I'd do without God and Jesus and all the angels! I don't go to church. Churches have become too social for me these days and half the time they don't even read from the Bible. But I do read the Bible every night and pray before I go to bed. Besides being God's word it's also a very interesting historical document! Plus it's just good to remember that there was a time when the men had to go out and kill dinner while the women stayed home taking care of all the kids and fixing whatever their husbands killed for dinner!

You sound like a very nice person who isn't being treated as nice as he should be! Perhaps you should just forget the past and go on with your future. It's not easy to do but with God's help you can do it. I've been through a few times like what you are going through but I did survive even though it didn't seem like it at the time!

It's good that you found this website! The people on here are so caring and nice and sincere! When my husband first died a year ago, they were all so helpful to me! I really needed that too! It meant a lot to me.

Things will get better for you and the hurt will dissipate. You deserve that! I'll say a prayer for you also.
I wish you the best.
PML