I can understand that I mean I do have a part I know I was the reason well I don't know but sometimes I feel like I was the reason for her to step out but to lie compolsivly even when caught red handed only tells me that she is incapable of being honest and vulnerable she'll never be in love with me it's like I keep banging my head against the wall knowing that she's always capable of holding it in and like a rule (denied denie denie) no matter what