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dea2xILC avatar

Suffering grief in silence. Lost 27 yr old daughter suddenly

Loss & Grief | Last Active: Aug 30 9:30pm | Replies (9)
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Profile picture for dea2xILC @darack

Thank you for the kind words PML. I just needed to share my story. Sometimes it is lonely. People are super uncomfortable with my pain and I don't want to be a downer. My daughter's twin sister talks to me about her and we talk like she is present, just in the next room. That is how I cope. I remind myself that her spirit is right there with me. Sometimes that gets me through the moments, but some days, like yesterday, I just don't know if I can or want to go on. Am I always going to have these terrible feelings of guilt? I am supposed to protect her.
The hugs and prapers from this group are greatly appreciated.

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Replies to "Thank you for the kind words PML. I just needed to share my story. Sometimes it..."
dea2xILC | @darack | Aug 28 12:33pm

I am so sorry that you lost your husband. I wish you peace and it sounds like you are coming along with acceptance phase.

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pml | @pml | Aug 28 1:21pm

Hi Darack,
That's good that you shared your story. You needed to. It didn't make me feel uncomfortable; just sad for you. It's nice that you talk to your other daughter about your daughter who died. I'm sure she is there with you like you said. Often I feel my husband's presence. The other day I misplaced the check register. I looked everywhere. I even said, "Ed, I wish you were here." (My husband could find anything that was lost.) Then the check register was there on the floor by the desk where I had looked twice for it! Our loved ones are not that far away.
Give yourself time to heal. Try and not feel guilty. You did nothing wrong. Life happens. God decides who lives and dies and when. We may not understand it when it occurs but God does. Just ask for his help in dealing with it.
I was very close to my Mom. When she died in 1991, it took me 3 years to get over the sadness I felt at losing her. I was equally close to my husband. I don't know how long it will be before I don't feel so sad about losing him. But I do know that with God's help I'll eventually get through it.

Enjoy your family and keep yourself as healthy as you can. You can beat the breast cancer! Things will get better for you. I'll say a prayer for you.
I wish you the best.
PML

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