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Does it make sense that HB’s ( Human Beings) can “ change”
Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Sep 3, 2025 | Replies (28)Comment receiving replies
I am a recovering alcoholic/addict of 7+ years. I was a chronic relapser from the age of 14 years old. I was 47 years old, when I got sober this time. I do believe that people can change. I have seen changes in myself due to the 12 steps of AA as well as therapy and I am also back in graduate school. I had no idea that I had a part of myself that was a perfectionist. I would have never called that, but I do. It has always been there, just covered with substances. I (like others) seem to have a very all or nothing, black or white view of the world. I am working on changing that part of me with the help of my belief in "God", "the Source", "higher power..." whatever you call that. I believe we all have that belief inside and it connects everything...the Universe, planets, all living things. The ONLY absolute is CHANGE. Everything is constantly changing. There is a lot of research about the brain as well and neuroplasticity, meaning that we can change our brains. We can utilize modalities and meditation, etc., to reroute the paths of the neurons and the firing of those. There is so much we do not know. As human beings, we know a lot...we also really don't know. I find human behavior fascinating. This is a wonderful topic and I have truly enjoyed reading others comments.
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Good morning, diverdown1(@diverdown1)
It appears we sobered up about the same time, or the same age, anyway. Exact memory escapes me, but I do know I was somewhere in my mid-40s. To the best of my recollection, I began my struggle to beat the sauce in the late '80s, but wasn't permanently successful until the early '90s. Like amny of us, I availed myself of all sorts of recovery helpers, starting with shyly skimming books on alcoholism in the aisles of our local bookstores ("I hope no one sees me … " 🙂 ), giving AA a number of tries, interlacing AA with Rational Recovery (too "rational" for me), Secular Sobriety (I liked the "secular" part), the local hospital's substance abuse workshop, finally ending up back at (in?) AA. To this day, I give AA most of the credit for my sobriety. But, as I believe I indicated in an earlier post, AA also turned me into a perfectionist. The notion that everything I did, the entirety of my consciousness, my every willful act had to be done according to some enumeration of "steps" or I risked failure (relapse?). I became a Master List-Maker. It has taken until only recently for me to recognize the insanity of my absolute perfectionism (or, as you say, "all or nothing"). I'm still a perfectionist (some degree of orderliness is in the marrow of me), but today I do what I can not to allow perfectionism to rule me; instead, I'm careful to "manage" my perfectionism insofar as I can so that I rule––or at least "negotiate with"––my perfectionism rather than the other way around.
Here's wishing you a fine weekend, diverdown1!
Ray (@ray666)