I can so relate to what you’re going through. I’ve been treated for anal cancer. I had 6 weeks of Xeloda and radiation. The damage and pain from the radiation was awful. There was a week when I could only wear a robe. It completely destroyed my sphincter muscle. I spent a year either looking for a bathroom or being in one. A bidet really helped along with Aquaphor cream.I ended up getting a colostomy. October will be 2 years since my surgery. The colostomy has given me back my life.