@annben I have not experienced loss in my family from sarcoma. One of my friends was diagnosed with osteosarcoma when he was in his mid-40's. His primary care physician kept reassuring him that the lump above his knee was "nothing to worry about" until the lump continued to increase in size. So, my friend's diagnosis was delayed. There is no way to know if the delay in diagnosis contributed to his death less than a year later. He left behind his wife and his young son. I know from his wife that losing him at that stage of their lives together with their young son was very hard on both of them. His wife, who is also a friend, went to a support group. Several years later when I talked with her at length she cried through our conversation, and said she was still feeling very angry at losing her husband. She and her son were members of my congregation and they never returned after her husband's death. She figured God wasn't there for them so why should she pretend to praise God? We all wanted to be "there" for her but respected her wishes and privacy.

As @gynosaur42 wrote some people would have liked the time to say goodbye and care for their family member during their final days. Others do not feel that way. I had that conversation with one of my high school friends last summer shortly before he died from metastatic prostate cancer. He said he was relieved that he had the opportunity to talk with so many loved ones before leaving his physical body on this earth. He compared that to a mutual friend of ours who died suddenly and never had that opportunity. So what I'm saying here is that the experience of grief is different for all of us. No one expects to lose their children and in my opinion this is the saddest grief of all. Like @gynosaur42 my mother died at age 75 (I was 44 years old when she died). Not a day goes by that I do not miss her. I hold her in my heart and love her every day. I talk with her and I know I live on with what I learned from her. I have her sense of humor and find myself uttering her witticisms and thinking, oh, I got that from my mother. Her life, memory, and legacy are a blessing.

I hope that you will find a grief support group in your area or religious community. Even if you do not talk about your own loss you may find comfort in listening to others. I hope that your grief lessens ever so slightly over time as you find yourself celebrating the joy that your son brought to your life and to your family.

Will you please check in whenever you'd like and let us know how you are doing?