Trintellix (vortioxetine) for Major Depression or possibly Anxiety.

Thank you for your response. I've searched for providers outside of Medicare with no luck. I'm in a pretty rural are where it's difficult to find any doctors at all. The older ones have either retired or moved away and the younger doctors absolutely refuse to write prescriptions. As an athlete my whole life, I've never smoked or even drank. I take good care of my body, even with Parkinson's. The government drafted me and sent me to Vietnam where I was exposed to Agent Orange, known to cause PD and other neurological disorders. And it was VA doctors who first prescribed clonazepam. Ironic. As the US crumbles, so do government agencies such as the VA, now nearly useless due to expansive employment cuts. Besides, I don't see how drug abuse could even be a factor--0.5 or even 0.25 mg daily at my age? The stress I'm going through with dependency withdrawal is too much for me to handle. Wishing I'd never started taking these medications doesn't offer solace. I appreciate your trying to help; no one else has responded. I'll just keep searching. Best wishes.

I'm so sorry you are unwell. I know exactly where you are with your journey as I'm on the same journey. Have you considered Ketamine?

Thanks for the suggestion. I've looked into it. Neither the VA nor Medicare covers the therapy. Even though I have Parkinson's I'm able to work, but only part-time as an independent contractor, which means just enough money to get by and like too many others, no "real" health insurance. But I know I'm not alone. Far too many more people will be in crisis, and they won't even know what happened. We've been on a downward economic spiral for the past 40 years. At least I was able to live during some of the best years in history, and I have wonderful memories and my mind is still sharp. Inside, all is well. Except for when I'm alone in nature, I don't particularly care about all the external events beyond my control. I really miss my wife. We were supposed to stay young together. Stay well.

So sorry to hear what you’re going through. Abrupt discontinuation of BZDs is absolutely unacceptable care.
Two things I’d like to offer. First, please do discuss the suicidal thoughts with your mental health provider. “Mandated reporting” is for pediatric patients, it has no bearing on this. It’s very important to discuss this with your provider.
Separately, you might want to try medical cannabis as an adjunct therapy. Specifically an edible product with CBD (no THC). It’s not a cure, but it can help.
I know depression sucks. So does anxiety. You’re not alone.

This past week, the VA authorized a caregiver for me; just for basic needs: assisting me in dressing, showering, light meal prep and housekeeping. At least I'll have someone around besides my cat, who's only active during the witching hours. It's only for 12 hours/week and they won't be allowed to drive me around (bummer), but I'm going to have them walk with me for the three days they're here. I'm seldom motivated to go out alone. There's a marijuana dispensary less than a mile from me, so that may be a nice and hopefully rewarding stroll. A lot of people have suggested trying CBDs. Right now, I'm willing to try just about anything to get me out of the "blues," and some long, regular sleep would be amazing. I'm sick of people telling me about melatonin gummies, sleep hygiene, or Trazodone, which my doctor readily prescribed and left me with all-day hangover feelings. Your reply helped lift my spirits. Thanks for reaching out.

Photo: my partner of 42 yrs; she's often in my dreams

We're all so different when it comes to being guinea pigs for Big Pharma. I've been doing well on Depakote, while lamictal did nothing but increase my manic episodes. I've been taking Trintellex 20mg for a little over a week, and so far it's making me a bit woozy and somewhat sedated (but definitely drugged), and hopefully will help me out of major depression. I took CBD gummies (non THC) last night and had the first good night's sleep in weeks. I was evaluated for TMS sessions two weeks ago, but I really wish I could find a doctor who would prescribe a lousy 0.5mg or even 0.25mg of either alprazolam or clonazapam. I did well taking it only as needed for anxiety attacks and rare but horrible panic attacks. Even prescribing doctors seem to be tapering their patients off Benzos completely. At my age, and over the decades I've been taking them only as prescribed, it really sucks that we have such a crappy, expensive, and useless healthcare system in this country. My wife hired an attorney this afternoon to help us get started in becoming permanent European residents. We each have dual citizenship, although in a S. American country, but many E.U. countries are closing their doors, or at least making it a lot more difficult to emigrate.

I hope your depression eases up some for you soon. It’s very difficult. I did TMS two different times. The first time I had limited symptoms for about 6 months. The second time unfortunately I had no improvement. Trintellex was awful for me. I hope you have better results than I did.

Thanks for helping to cheer me up. It felt good having someone giving me a hello; broke through the numbness.