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← Return to The Caregiver’s Brain
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I guess I am not there yet. I have been dealing with my husband's Parkinson's with Dementia for about 6 year now but the dementia and mobility issues have gotten worse over the last year, to the extent we no longer get out (except of course for Dr appointments). I was just looking around my house the other day thinking I should be so grateful. I have a nice house, a nice screened porch and patio with a nice yard. A car, food, family. I am lucky. A lot of people don't have this security. But instead I feel trapped and lonely. When I see pictures of our friends traveling, going to parties that we used to attend, having dinner with friends, I feel even more lonely and , sadly, envious. My husband can no longer communicate; wrong words come out so I have to even struggle to have a conversation. I am not even sure if I could have a conversation in a social setting anymore. I wish my mind could re-set and I could find peace in just being a caregiver.
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@b37027
Thank you for sharing - your words helped me feel a little more normal. The lonely and envious words really got me. I've been feeling that for the last few years because of my husbands declining mind and physical movement that separates us from all the fun people doing fun stuff. My husband has MCI for sure. His primary referred him to a neurologist that has bad reviews but I think I'm ready to try it anyways just to get a confirmation and maybe know how far along he is. My Abide app with meditations really helps me feel less alone. Thank God for my sister too and our family who know what's going on by asking me how he's doing. Take care, this stuff is tough to navigate - I do think I'm learning to be more accepting rather than bitter and resentful and that's huge.🤗💕
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Well I think you are on the right spot. I to feel like I am trapped on an island and no rescue in site. I feel like I have been doing this Caregiving of my spouse has had it's good times..but lately I don't know what the next odd, mean or confused comment will be made. I feel guilty because I try to stay ahead of potential problems. That being said I am thankful for laughing and connecting with him at times. He really is funny when he is animated and saying things like the man I married. Other times it seems like the days are long and tedious to say the least. He is demanding ( nicely ) and awful the next. I feel that I have stamina and I miss so much of a life I no longer have. He watches TV more than anything. I think it is boring and appreciate a conversation. We only go out to eat when he has an appointment. Sometimes that does not happen as he is worn out and needs a good nap. I am not sure what level of grief I am on. It varies daily. I hope everyone enjoys their wine. Hopefully together or screen time! Best to you all. Caregivers do feel anxious, happy and overwhelmed.I have no relief right now . All is good today. Thanks for sharing. 💜💜🫂