Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Like you, I also dealt with similar bowel issues before treatment, but the urgency and frequency definitely became much worse afterward. Both my gastroenterologist and colorectal surgeon have recommended things like Citrucel and a handful of other options. They help a little, but only to a very small degree.

Unfortunately, I have not had anything close to a regular schedule in years. On top of that, anything that affects my anxiety or mood immediately shows up in my stomach. It feels like a vicious cycle. The discomfort and embarrassment feed the anxiety, and then the anxiety makes the symptoms worse, so you are stuck in a loop.

I tried probiotics for a while, but the cost really added up and I was not seeing much difference, so I stopped. These days I eat relatively well. I have cut out eating out almost entirely and try to avoid processed foods, but I still deal with constant gas and very loose watery bowel movements. On the days they are a little more formed, still nothing close to solid but closer, I will end up going three or four times within a couple of hours because I never feel like I am completely empty.

Most days, I dread the gas I cannot control, knowing it may eventually soil my underwear. For a while wiping only made things worse, so I switched to a bidet, but that also backfired. It felt like water was getting in and then slowly leaking out afterward. I cannot believe I am even saying all of this, because I have been holding it in for so many years. It feels gross, it makes you feel raw and exposed. And if I am oversharing, I apologize, but it has been bottled up for so long that letting it out almost feels like a release.

I am a man and I have tried cutting a woman's pad to make it fit. I have tried tampons. Adult diapers are far too bulky to go out in public. I have not worn a light colored pair of pants in almost a decade. At times it just feels insurmountable.