I'm so very sorry about what you're experiencing and how you're feeling. The mention or suspicion of 'cancer' has no equal in raising one's anxiety level. Believe me, I know (malignant melanoma). But try not to get ahead of yourself - or your possible diagnosis. Music is a great distractor for me when I need to calm myself down. Reading is also a pleasant diversion if you can find something engrossing. I am thinking of you though we are not acquainted; I'm sending good energy out: good, positive thoughts for calm and strength, @uma1. This site is a great resource with loads of support and so many caring people. You are not alone.