It’s 3 hrs later and I’m going to finish this. My head burning still bad… but preferable to earlier. Exhausted, ground down . Wired, like I’m speeding and worn out. Sickening smell of gasoline but mixed with something rotten. My eyes still all swollen. Head Still sore on left like they used my head for batting practice. These are all common for me. I’ve never got it wrote down like this before. I dread the rest of the night. But, as soon as I start to feel a little better I’ll forget most of what happened. Went to neurologist w out writing it all down, asked how I was… my reply, fine. I was determined be part of all this here. I feel like I’ve humiliated myself. It’s the rollercoaster for me. There’s no getting off. Gets worse. Eases up. Worse is longer but everytime it eases up and I think, maybe this time? I’m always caught completely off guard like it’s never happened before. … or when it’s bad, I never felt like I was dying from it like so many times before. Aren’t you used to it yet? It’s been years? You never get used to it.
There’s so many other people here looking for help and I’m : me me me me. 1.00 now. So, how long can a 67 yr old body keep going? They all say, nothing wrong. Just can’t do anything and have no muscle anymore. I can paint. Read if I can focus. Play guitar even with a full blown migraine , not very well😂. Write adnauseum 😂 😂 ending this laughing. Who would’ve thought after all that whining… 😂😂 you guys are gonna start going, oh god 😂not him again😂thank you…🥲