Abandoned and alone

Posted by panamagloria @panamagloria, Aug 10, 2025

How to handle the feeling of abandonment. I am 81 years old and live alone. I was always there for my and grandchildren and now that I need them they are nowhere to be found, only when they need something. My daughter has stopped talking to me for no known reason and it pains me.

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I was commenting on someone from last night and now I see the conversation is the loss of a pet. I've been their as well . It's hard when every meal is a bite of something to share with your pet and they are not there anymore . When your sad or upset or even happy and they come running w/ that concerned look to snuggle away your sadness or offer a paw. Or come wagging their tail and perform a happy dance for your joy.
Hang in there, I eventually got another tiny dog and a year later got another tiny dog so she wouldn't be lonely when I was/am out of the house . They do not replace human companionship but there's nothing like the unconditional love of a pup now 2 pups.
TinkerBell2

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Profile picture for Randy Shields @randallshields56

How are you holding up today

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Holding on is about it today. Still kicking

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Profile picture for katenj @katenj

I just wrote to you but Im falling apart right this second and wanted to share what I am feeling. You seem to get it. I was just sitting at the computer and I remembered the times Theodore wanted me to sto p what I was doing and pay attention to him and Id pat him on the head and keep up doing what I was doing. And now hes gone and there are no more times hell come up to me. Why didnt I stop sitting at the computer and just sit with him and pet him ? I would give anything to be able to do that now and its too late. Im crying my eyes out and I just want one more chance. I miss him so much. Why didnt I spend that time with him. I thought I had forever.

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@katenj
I can relate with you. I have guilt about being so busy in my job, moving, traveling and with my young son that I wasn’t able to spend as much quality time with my black cat I rescued off the freeway in CA. I risked my life to save him and had a special bond with him. I didn’t noticed his health decline in the last 3 years of his life because I was busy with an infant/toddler and working. I wish I noticed that when he started to pee on my son’s playmate and toys that it wasn’t due to being territorial and not happy with my son taking away attention from him. He actually was diagnosed with kidney cancer. The poor thing was suffering and I didn’t see it! I felt terrible once he was diagnosed. I tried giving him IV fluids when his kidneys were failing but I could not do it alone and hold him properly (had no local support system and a newly divorced single parent of a toddler). If only I could turn back time and realize he was sick and get him help sooner. I felt guilty for yelling at him when he peed on things when he couldn't help it (I had to throw away many things that were ruined).

My recent cat I had to put down at 13 with bone cancer, I did not feel as guilty for not spending time with him since I had to work at home during Covid and the became disabled/retired early after losing my job so I home for the last 5 years (2 of the last years I was not working). He was in noticeable pain so I had to make a pretty quick decision to put him down so he would not suffer excruciating pain with the growth of the bone tumor in his jaw (told he only had about 4 weeks left to live and the tumor was growing fast and would eventually break his jaw). I know I did the right thing but it was still hard. I have his brother looks like his twin) and he has kidney function decline and worry he won’t be around long if he has eventual kidney failure or cancer.

When you lose your pets, you look for them when you come into the house and go through your normal routine. They are always there in the middle of everything you do so there is a tremendous void when they are gone. Dogs are definitely like babies/toddlers that depend on their humans but they give love, companionship and loyalty in return. My dogs are both around 8-9 (they weren’t sure of their exact age since they were found as strays) and they are medium sized dogs with an average life span of 10-13. I can already see the decline in their energy and stiffness in joints when getting up/going up steps plus both have potential liver/kidney issues to keep an eye on. It is never easy to lose them but I am thankful for the time I have with them and feel good that I have given homeless/rescue animals a good and safe life filled with love.

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Profile picture for tinkerbell2 @tinkerbell2

I'm so sorry to hear about your loneliness and pain you are going through. I have a similar situation but I'm 62.
You are never really alone. God is with you and inviting you to accept His invitation. I hate when my friend would say that , but it is actually true. God is always their. Does He replace humans,? No. But He certainly helped me through the loneliness by occupying my time with reading more and more about Him which gave me peace instead of anxiety. Do I still get lonely? Of course I do, I'm human, but it's less than it would have been.
I don't know where you are but I'm in Mass if you ever want to chat and discuss God , functional families, narcissists , or what have you. Lonely people reaching out to other lonely people = no more lonely people.
Light and Love TinkerBell2

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Thank you for taking time to respond. Yes, I would like to be able to talk you. My name is Gloria and I live in Californis.

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Profile picture for Randy Shields @randallshields56

howdy and welcome, sorry you feel that way bout things. its harder the older you get and have problems with your kids, i kind of have a few related problems similar and still not quite 69. to you that's probably a pup but have already put two lifetimes into those 68 years. but i do have a daughter that makes my world rock. if not for her i would be in the situation of trying to find me a senior center to make some friends. hard enough to have those other issues and feel abandoned. i feel the same with family and a lot to my story, but would welcome you as a long distance friend if you would like that. message me anytime. have the better part of the evening that you can. I'm out in Virginia taking it one day at a time. they call me randy.

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Thanks for your comments. I'm exploring new things and prayers/affirmations help me a lot. I live in California and would like to be your long distance friend.

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Profile picture for panamagloria @panamagloria

Thank you for taking time to respond. Yes, I would like to be able to talk you. My name is Gloria and I live in Californis.

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Hi Gloria!!!
Just saying a quick hi for it's so late and I need to sleep. I hope you had a wonderful blessed day today.
BTW where are the emoji's??
My best friend ( sorta) moved to NC and her name is Gloria.
It's a small world
Tink

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lets adopt each other
I need a Mother and you need family
When Ive been sick and helpless.. everyone walked out on me even family.

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Profile picture for dlydailyhope @dlydailyhope

@katenj
I can relate with you. I have guilt about being so busy in my job, moving, traveling and with my young son that I wasn’t able to spend as much quality time with my black cat I rescued off the freeway in CA. I risked my life to save him and had a special bond with him. I didn’t noticed his health decline in the last 3 years of his life because I was busy with an infant/toddler and working. I wish I noticed that when he started to pee on my son’s playmate and toys that it wasn’t due to being territorial and not happy with my son taking away attention from him. He actually was diagnosed with kidney cancer. The poor thing was suffering and I didn’t see it! I felt terrible once he was diagnosed. I tried giving him IV fluids when his kidneys were failing but I could not do it alone and hold him properly (had no local support system and a newly divorced single parent of a toddler). If only I could turn back time and realize he was sick and get him help sooner. I felt guilty for yelling at him when he peed on things when he couldn't help it (I had to throw away many things that were ruined).

My recent cat I had to put down at 13 with bone cancer, I did not feel as guilty for not spending time with him since I had to work at home during Covid and the became disabled/retired early after losing my job so I home for the last 5 years (2 of the last years I was not working). He was in noticeable pain so I had to make a pretty quick decision to put him down so he would not suffer excruciating pain with the growth of the bone tumor in his jaw (told he only had about 4 weeks left to live and the tumor was growing fast and would eventually break his jaw). I know I did the right thing but it was still hard. I have his brother looks like his twin) and he has kidney function decline and worry he won’t be around long if he has eventual kidney failure or cancer.

When you lose your pets, you look for them when you come into the house and go through your normal routine. They are always there in the middle of everything you do so there is a tremendous void when they are gone. Dogs are definitely like babies/toddlers that depend on their humans but they give love, companionship and loyalty in return. My dogs are both around 8-9 (they weren’t sure of their exact age since they were found as strays) and they are medium sized dogs with an average life span of 10-13. I can already see the decline in their energy and stiffness in joints when getting up/going up steps plus both have potential liver/kidney issues to keep an eye on. It is never easy to lose them but I am thankful for the time I have with them and feel good that I have given homeless/rescue animals a good and safe life filled with love.

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Thank you for sharing your story and being thankful for the time with them. Im still wallowing around in regrets and I guess it takes time.

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