I apologize if I’ve done all this wrong…
This is my 1st post. Headaches hit me after covid at 63. Felt like I’d been hit by a 2x4. That was over 4 years ago. I didn’t know about migraines and never heard of cluster headaches. Relief? Just seeing that word… I don’t know whether to laugh or cry? Relief…. for me, almost nothing. An ice bag and a dark room. Pillow over my head and my arms squeezing a pillow to my chest. If it’s really bad I’m in the fetal position, otherwise on my back breathing slowly. I get hit regularly on a daily basis and multiple times. I never know what’ll happen. Times I haven’t left that room in over a month. The only thing that has given me any kind relief is Zavzpret. Thing is you can only get 6 per month. So, how close to dying do I feel before I take one? I’ll only have 5 left. Nothing else. I’ve had every available med to prevent, take during or help the pain. I’ve had my nerves cut. Botox made it worse. Amovig, Ajovy, Emgality. I just seem to be the one. Nothing works. MRIs. Nope. Nothing wrong. Tried off market treatments. No help.
I’ve gone crazy to the point of… I’ve got to find something positive from this hell. I started doing drawings of my torture room. I did a painting from that. I try my hardest to see things differently, find beauty around me I never saw. I try to turn this hell into something positive when I can. I’m an artist and I paint every chance I can. I’d do anything I think sometimes to stop the pain but now I just endure it. Don’t know how.
I see differently. I paint differently. Then it all comes back and starts all over again. It’s like riding a rollercoaster.
Saw that surgery helped one person. I’m happy for that person. I’d be too afraid to do it.
I’m so sorry to the person looking for relief. I’ve never put this out anywhere before. I’ve pretty much said nothing to nobody. I wish I had an answer or at least some kind of help for you. Lost friends, can’t leave home, body fading away, worst of all, well beyond any pain of my own, seeing what I’ve become in my love’s eyes.
1 thing. The times you feel happy remember to appreciate it. For me, no matter how bad this, it’s hard to imagine so many people suffering worse…. Peace N Love