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← Return to The Caregiver’s Brain
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Sorry for this belated reply, pamela 78; but I am fairly new to this post.
Like you, my days are numbered (statistically, my lifespan has been shortened by 10 years by RA and I am already 76-years old).
My immobile 83-year-old husband has Alzheimer, vascular dementia, and Lewy Body with Parkinsonian factors; and he is in hospice. So, my idea of relaxation these days is going to the dentist. (I spent an hour and a-half in the chair this morning for a new crown. It felt like a spa treatment.)
And like you, I find that caregiving for my husband is the hardest (and most thankless thing) I have ever done: He has five children from a previous marriage, and they are jet-setting around the world while my husband is dying. (His older son just spent a week in Kaui--after spending a week in Mexico and a month in Province earlier this year); and his older daughter is going to Tuscany for two weeks next week, etc.) while I caregive--which makes the three-year, three-hour round trip to Berkeley from Davis, California to complete my B.A. a piece of cake not mention completing my law degree while caring for my quadriplegic husband (first, and the love of my life), or 42-years of practicing law while raising three children.)
Love and Inner Peace to You,
George's Wife
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Thank you so much for your kind reply, and by kind, I mean all your sharing with me. I understand so well what you are going through, and I now know that no one, not kids, not friends, no one who hasn't been through this has any idea of what it's really like. We're out on an ice floe and the continent is drifting away. All we can do is hold on, get through another day, and endure. My friends and family are being supportive but there's nothing they can really do, well, my daughter who's a social worker is very helpful and my son will change my light bulbs, but good wishes are no practical help. I find that knowing people are thinking about us and caring is what I need the most. My husband has Alzheimer's and was doing pretty well until Friday, when he had a bad fall and ended up in the hospital. What was that? Five days ago? Now he's in Afib, awaiting a pacemaker, delusional, and looks as if he's aged 20 years. He's 77; I'm 79. I have RA and an aortic aneurysm and I don't really expect to have ten more years. I'm hoping for five. But this latest crisis has taken the wind out of my sails and, despite a hard night's sleep, I wake up shaky and exhausted. And I'm not the one in the hospital! I wish you courage for what lies ahead and peace to follow. Feel the feels, as the kids say, and be kind to yourself. No one else knows what you're suffering better than you. Peace, Pam