The death of a spouse is a devastating experiencing. I can sympathize as my first husband died when I was 41 (he was 36). Being a relatively young widow was very hard. It was unusual among my friends, and I didn’t want feel my life was over at such a young age. I was also haunted by all we’d miss—raising our daughter, being together, growing old. This was 30 years ago, so I’ve progressed on this journey.
Certain usual things really did help me: therapy, grief group, connecting with other widows, spiritual path, friends, family, and community. This help wasn’t “perfect”—but I appreciated all of it.
I’d suggest trying these things but there are two, very easy, things: reading and writing. I kept a journal (and have continued to do so). And I read some great books about grief. A public librarian can suggest books that might suit your situation and beliefs.
I am fortunate in that I remarried. I’ve learned that almost everyone I encounter in this world, particularly now that I’m in my 70’s, has a broken heart from some kind of grief. As time has passed, I’ve felt less alone. As folks have noted here—the passage of time in and of itself doesn’t help with grief. But time can be a good co-factor. So-called “complicated” grief can be a kind of permanent depression. But when I looked within I was surprised to find a positive human spirit inside me even in the darkest times. I’ve never gotten over my grief, but it doesn’t dominate my life. I’m curious about things that may have helped—particularly easy small things. Anything to share that might help others?