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My first post, no one to talk to
Caregivers: Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) & Dementia | Last Active: Aug 15, 2025 | Replies (33)Comment receiving replies
I'm so sorry, but your wife has dementia and she is no longer the same person you've been married to for 50+ years. That hostile, paranoid, confused person is someone else who did not choose her disease. It is a tragic and cruel disease, and has robbed her of memory, logic and reason. Take nothing personally. She cannot help it. It usually does no good to argue or reason or correct the patient. Go along when possible. Distract or redirect when possible. The person you're dealing probably sees you as a stranger and she is not the person you married now (not in her mind).
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Many thanks to all who have replied to me, but I might have to drill down on my wife's symptoms and circumstances......She is active and fully functional. She cooks, keeps the house immaculate, cares for herself. Symptoms....
1. repeats the same comment or question over and over again with minutes of the first, during most conversations
2. she is volatile, argumentative over everything. If she says it's gonna rain and I say I don't think so, she lashes out at me and storms off and then pouts for hours.
3. someone mentioned romance.....we are in a sexless marriage (which is not of my choosing), she has lost all desire for sex. We exchange morning hugs and pecks, I love you birthday cards etc, but physical passion is gone (for 4 years). I still have desire but its nonreciprocal.
4. She is often incapable of figuring things out, i.e. I do all the banking and bills. If I try to explain why we have this bill or that one, it's too much.
5.She flips on me at the drop of a hat...i.e. I love cruises, we've done 4. I want to do another cruise and when I suggest it (I see it as a possible way to rekindle romance and excitement) she says "I never want to go on a cruise again".....2 days later, "when are we gonna go on another cruise"?
6. Again the forgetfulness...i.e. if I say I have an appointment tomorrow, then the next day as I'm getting ready to leave I get " where are you going"? If I say "I have an appointment, remember"? she loses it and accuses me of attacking her. If my son says he's coming over for a visit, then a couple hours later, she'll say " when is he coming to visit" I tell her again and an hour later, she asks again the same question.
7. Insecurity or ??? if my son or any other common person sends me a text, and she wasnt included, I get.." You're all talking about me". "You're betraying me"!
on and on. It's getting worse rapidly I feel. I feel she is unhappy with her life. She blames me for any friction between us and I'm on eggshells. She is not the same mild hippie girl of our youth, but I love her and I will never abandon her. I will see this thru, but I am having increasing emotional difficulty.