Keith - When you say you will never be the same, that is so true. It won't be. I can't believe in 10 days, it will be 6 months since my wife passed away and my life is still rather upside down, nothing is the same but slowly improving. And that is important. Grief takes a while, and most people can't understand what you are going through. You'll improve slowly at your own pace and please don't let anyone push you through this process. I still get "ambushed" with grief and will for a while, but those periods are now further apart. I went through a period of shock, and you did as well. Time will heal. Take care of yourself. Ed