We all have something. It is part of living. None of us will escape the fate of dying, but that reality sits in the background of our lives, and we live our life in spite of our fate. Your expressed fear and anxiety, suggest a thatmental health therapist, Who can guide you out of depression, fear, and anxiety would be a good solution!. There is so much we don’t know about your CAD, and even moremore that we don’t know about you! I have CAD, I inherited it from my father. My cousins have CAD they inherited it from one of our grandparents. For my family it is an inherited disease. Each member of our family handles it very differently along with expressing it differently.. I tend to tackle things head on. I have been living with this eventuality for 40 years and was officially diagnosed a few years ago. (I am 68). What I did was to investigate every test known to man and ask for all the tests. I asked for the pictures of my arteries. I asked for the cardiologists. In my case, I will stay on top of the disease and do what I can to stay in good health and slow down the deterioration. Meanwhile, other diseases become of more immediate concern! Think about that for a second. CAD is one of the bazillions of things which can go wrong with our bodies as we age. It’s not enough for us to have CAD, we can have other related and non-related things plague us. So if one thing is upsetting you so terribly, what will happen as time goes on and other things get thrown in the mix? Every human gets to deal with the same thing, just a different combination of diseases and bodily conflict. What you have expressed needs a mental health professional. What you expressed involves not your CAD but your ATTITUDE towards something gone awry with your body. You are blessed to only need a stent at this juncture. My dad experienced his first Widowmaker heart attack at 58 with a triple heart bypass. He went on to have many stents and angioplasties between another quadruple bypass and another triple heart bypass at 80. he lived a full life and passed away at 87. He lived a full life and was blessed that the CAD didn’t slow him down and didn’t distract him from the way he wanted to live his life. CAD can live in the background of your life, unlike other diseases, which drop you to your knees, front and center. I suggest you get a referral to a therapist who will help you through this difficult adjustment. You are blessed to know you have CAD and can take steps to mitigate consequences. Other diseases are silent and you can’t do anything about them until too late.. I hope this message is one of support and you can find the Hope inspiration to approach our disabilities with courage. Bring the light into the dark and get some necessary support to rebalance your emotional needs. right now it sounds like you are operating in the dark trying to find your way, we can’t do it alone. Thank you for being honest and reaching out for support.!