Nothing you say here surprises me. These behaviors are the result of disease, not bad intentions or malice. For a very long time, I felt exactly as you do: desperate, exhausted, angry, and helplessly hopeless. Getting a diagnosis is important, especially for your own peace of mind so you know what you're dealing with. There is no cure for Alzheimer's, yet, so the only recourse is managing the symptoms, which means working on yourself. Yes, it's infuriating when your husband doesn't hear you, even when he assures you he does, the way my husband does. It took me two years and a couple of cancelled appointments for me to get him to a hearing specialist. He still doesn't realize he has Alzheimer's, though he can't remember much of anything and can't complete a thought. I'm embarrassed and annoyed by so much of what he does, but it's the disease that's taking him away from me. I'm working on adjusting my own attitude and that's helping. I'm not fighting to get him to behave normally, I'm just letting go of trying to get him to do much of anything. I try to use positive reinforcement rather than shouts, though because of the hearing I find myself yelling more than I'd like to. When I have days like yours, I go to my best friend, who's been through something similar with her late husband, and pour it all out. This isn't easy and it isn't going to get easier. You know that a toddler having a meltdown will grow up and stop throwing his toys around, but with a dementia sufferer you know it's only going to get worse. It's very hard, but I want to make sure that I do the best I can. I don't want to live with regrets if and when this does come to an end. Peace and patience.