Concerned that I have hit BCR

I was strong through a delayed diagnosis by my uro, and then I did all the things to get the ralp done and get my life back together and go back to work, and try to enjoy life again with terrible fear of recurrence. And now it’s back and the likely advice from my onc will be wait 3 months while it gets worse so we can see it. It’s just a shit sandwich. There goes any dream I had left of any normal kind of retirement, I have watched my own DAd do RALP, recurrence 7 years later, lymph removal, radio, hormones, chemo that took away the use of his hands, and now still get shots every months for hormones.

Hey Bud, I was the same way - although sometimes we think that WE ALONE have these intense feelings of anxiety, dread and almost incapacitation.
Trust me - and others! - we’ve all felt like crawling into a hole and never coming out…but that’s not gonna help anything, right?
I got so damned tired of being afraid that one day, I just…stopped. I said f**k it, if it’s gonna try and kill me, it better try hard cause I’m gonna do anything and everything I can to fight back. Only one of us can win and that’s all there is to it.
So I took the ADT, I got blasted with radiation and now I’m waiting - not hysterically- for Round 3 if luck is against me. Plenty before me have gone MANY rounds with this parasite and they’re still here, traveling, loving their grandchildren, and enjoying their lives. YOU ARE NOT DIFFERENT OR SPECIAL and I don’t mean that as a criticism or a put down.
You are facing what tens of thousands have faced before you and the vast majority - probably over 85% - are still here, OK? Just breathe, try to clear your mind and put yourself in the hands of the VERY VERY BEST people you can find.
And please accept the fact that this prostate cancer crap is a lifetime gig which you will never be able to turn your back on - ever! But If you happened to see the chart of mortality rates that @brianjarvis posted recently, you’d be overjoyed that you didn’t have many of the other cancers that have a much worse prognosis. What we have sucks, but it’s very treatable; what others have can practically be a death sentence in some cases, so please, PLEASE! put it in perspective, get your game face on and go do what has to be done. Best,
Phil

Thanks Phil. My last PSA at year 3 after surgery was .24. All anxiety and negative feelings have returned in spades. Your advice is sound for Cmoto and all of us. I just feel like I'm on the outside looking in again on the world without cancer. I know you're right and have to say F*#k it and get treated and keep a good attitude as things could be worse. I'm so damn mad and disappointed though.

Thanks Phil. My last PSA at year 3 after surgery was .24. All anxiety and negative feelings have returned in spades. Your advice is sound for Cmoto and all of us. I just feel like I'm on the outside looking in again on the world without cancer. I know you're right and have to say F*#k it and get treated and keep a good attitude as things could be worse. I'm so damn mad and disappointed though.

3 1/2 years after surgery, my PSA hit .2 and I had to have salvage radiation. There’s a good reason to get it at that level. Don’t wait too long. Here are some information about that.

From Ascopubs about what PSA to do salvage radiation.
≤0.2 ng/mL:
Starting at this level maximizes disease control and long-term survival. Patients treated at PSA < 0.2 ng/mL achieve higher rates of undetectable post-SRT PSA (56-70%) and improved 5-year progression-free survival (62.7-75%).
Delaying SRT beyond PSA ≥0.25 ng/mL increases mortality risk by ~50%.

0.2–0.5 ng/mL:
Still effective, particularly for patients with low-risk features (e.g., Gleason ≤7, slow PSA doubling time). The Journal of Clinical Oncology recommends SRT before PSA exceeds 0.25 ng/mL to preserve curative potential.

0.5–1.0 ng/mL:
Salvage radiation remains beneficial but may require combining with androgen deprivation therapy (ADT) for higher-risk cases.

Met with my surgeon onc today. Reassuring to some degree. We are testing again at 6 and 12 weeks. He ordered a decipher and I will reconnect with my RO and MO from diagnosis. No action until it hits .1 depending on decipher this is adt and salvage or wait for PSMA at .2. Now to manage the ongoing test anxiety - he connected with resources for that. Also he said that outcomes post any recurrence are good - many treatments, many years. He also said that for some people the test result can stabilize or even revert to undetectable. Back to living with uncertainty which is the way for any cancer survivor. Thanks for the support!