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* High anxiety and depression *
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Feb 18, 2017 | Replies (29)Comment receiving replies
I probably wrote this before, so if I did, just ignore it. A year and a half ago my 2 daughters convinced me to move closer to them. I debated for 5 years, but finally did it. I do not like it here at all ..... I keep telling myself it will get better, but it's getting worse. Some days I don't get dressed. I am 72, in good health, living in an apartment way out in the sticks. I had lived in the other place, MD, for 30 years, and when I got divorced 12 years ago I got my own condo, which I am now renting out. Now I've gotten to the point where I'm very depressed here, and what if I go back and don't like it there anymore? I'm going up this coming week for an appt. with both my therapist and my Psychiatrist and a big part of me wishes they'd put me in the hospital for a few weeks, to somehow stop this spinning brain. I've been dealing with D/A since a young teen, and am on meds. I've been looking for a part-time job, there is no church down here that "fits" .... and I have 1 friend here ... a neighbor lady. We talk about once a week or so. I don't know what to do .... stay here, move back, or just go to sleep and not wake up. I loved my condo, my neighbors, my friends and my church ..... and now I have this ..... nothing. If I go back both my girls will be very upset as they love having me here ........ but then at their ages - early 40's - isn't as traumatic as when you get older. People say "get involved" .... easy to say, but when I feel like this, putting shoes on in the morning is almost too much. Thanks for listening.
abby
Replies to "I probably wrote this before, so if I did, just ignore it. A year and a..."
Thanks Colleen ...... my brain feels like it's a merry-go-round that never stops, so I appreciate your moving this. My son wrote me and said that the apartment people (government subsidized) want to have a 4-way conversation via phone this Friday at 11 ... this would be my son, me, my F.A. and whomever from the apartments. I wrote back to him and told him, I'm not committing to anything right now. We've given them enough for them to know I'm not rolling in $$. I have little patience for all the government red tape. I'm sure if I don't agree to this, I won't get one ...... that's OK by me. I'm so exhausted with all this and I have not felt this extreme depression and anxiety for several years - at least 12 when I was going through my divorce.
abby
Yes government red tape can be exhausting. That is why it is so important to have someone to help you through this. I know from your previous replies that you feel cut off from help. You now have your son helping. I can attest that the government people do understand people that have problems. You just have to let them know. Your son will have to know in advance that you are having problems with depression so are not thinking as clearly as you normally would. You do not have to tell them you are depressed, but just say feeling overwhelmed and not thinking very fast. These are common for seniors. The senior housing people deal with this every day.
Have you had a chance to tour this housing? Usually you are able to take a tour to see if you like it and to talk with some of the residents and see how they like it. It might help you make up your mind if you want to move there. Some senior housing have organized social events. Remember the final choice is yours.
Please call your doctor or therapist to let them know how you are feeling. It is important to let them know your feelings right now.
My depression gets worse but gets better. We old people have gone through a lot so we know that we can make it, but sometimes it seems so impossible to get through. Just know that we are all here rooting for you and understanding that you are in a tough situation.
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Hi Amber,
I moved your most recent message to this discussion that you started a few days ago so that you can continue to connect with people who know your story and can continue to journey with you as you face difficult decisions.