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Vascular Dementia: How do you cope?

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jul 18 8:27am | Replies (12)

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Hello all, I am new to the group and excited to be here. My husband had a hemorrhagic stroke 10 years ago and last fall was diagnosed with vascular dementia with frontal temporal. We are 71 and I am really struggling with this. He really doesn’t think he has problems and gets upset at me when I just don’t buy brain supplements online for him. I am working on all the things that you’re not supposed to do to upset him, but I fail a lot. I retired 3 years ago and we moved out of state to be close to one of our sons and grandkids. Loneliness is hard for me and he doesn’t talk much, he has speech aphasia. He can care for himself and I guess I am waiting for the next step down. I appreciate your wisdom and advice.

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Replies to "Hello all, I am new to the group and excited to be here. My husband had..."

There's no way to make any of this easy. Everything you're feeling is what all of us here struggle with as well. I spent at least three years feeling angry, sad, helpless, hopeless, and generally as if my life was over. Goodbye good times, hello ... what? Gradually the anger has abated. I still feel frustrations and annoyances, but the deep anger is gone. Then I struggled with depression and feeling overwhelmed with no idea about what to do. As my husband declines, I find myself taking over more and more of the things it takes to run a household and being more assertive about getting my own needs met. I've started walking lots more, lost 45 lbs., have gotten more-or-less on top of practical things, like finances, etc. My backyard is so neglected it looks like a wilderness, but you can't see it from the street and it's been so hot that I just let it go. I'll deal with that sometime. I guess. My point is, I feel more agency now, more in control of my own life. I'm 79 and determined to make my final years as rich and fulfilling as I can make them. I have an aortic aneurysm and that sort of gives me a certain perspective on what's important. Take care of my husband; take care of myself. I hope you can do the same. Courage and patience required.