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What activity do you refuse to give up? How do you adapt to age?

Posted by Sue, Volunteer Mentor @sueinmn, May 23 6:30pm

I spent the afternoon in my favorite place - my yard and garden. I have gardened since the age of 9, had my own gardens for 54 years, been a Master Gardener volunteer for over 20 years and in two very different climates. I'm not "old" at 74 but I have a lot challenges with arthritis, bad shoulders, bad lungs, occasional vertigo...

While "removing winter" and preparing for the new season, I thought a lot about how to simplify 8 very different garden beds so I can manage them going forward.

Here are my ideas so far:
Simplify:
Replace annuals with tough perennials and attractive ground covers. Replace aggressive perennials with low-care shrubs.
Replace high-maintenance plants like roses with natives and other easy-care plants.
Use natural mulch and ground covers to keep weeds down, instead of wood chips that need to be replaced often.
Adapt:
Use mulch, Preen and ground cover to reduce weeds.
Hire help for the heavy work, and for intense seasonal tasks like "putting the gardens to bed." Even once or twice a year is a big help.
Put heavy patio pots on wheels for ease in moving.
Reduce:
Smaller gardens. A few vegetables in pots instead of a big garden (after all, you can get produce to can or freeze at the local Farmers' Market and support small businesses.)
Shrubs, decorations and landscape rocks in place of dozens or hundreds of plants.
Plant an "esy care" lawn rich in native clover or other ground cover and tough low-need, low-growing grasses.
Automate:
Irrigate with drip lines set on timers, or and irrigation system. The initial investment pays off over time.

What is your favorite activity, and how can you adapt as you go forward?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

capnjack | @capnjack | 1 day ago
In reply to @bjk3 "Hello, @jillb329 ~ That's my criterion as well, SAFE and comfortable. I found that I could..." + (show)
@bjk3

Hello, @jillb329 ~
That's my criterion as well, SAFE and comfortable. I found that I could not carry a chair that was stable enough to be safe (too cumbersome and heavy) so I, too, have to decline many activities, including the wedding of a grandson who is getting married next month outdoors in Door Co., WI on the banks of Lake Michigan. Too many unknowns - no parking lots so have to walk on unpaved road, distance unknown, to the park; don't know how bumpy or smooth the grassy area is, how far it is to walk to a restroom, etc. My family, fortunately, totally "gets" it! And most importantly, I want the day to be about the wonderful young couple getting married and their families having the freedom to celebrate without having to attend to my needs. I will totally enjoy any photos and videos and will certainly be there in spirit, and they know that. I feel so blessed to be living in my own home, driving, and enjoy being able to live my own routine and make my own decisions, that nothing else can steal that peace.
Blessings to you,
Barb

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Barb, I SO identify with what you said. In addition to still getting over hip fracture (balance issue? Maybe...) I have stage 3 emphysema, so walking any distance is iffy, and although I would love to be there in Door County (born and raised a Badger), I fear that the humidity would be hard on my breathing, too. Love it that your family "gets it"!
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gerrieme | @gerrieme | 1 day ago
In reply to @stsopoci "Musicals. I participate in at least one musical a year. I’ve been told by my older..." + (show)
@stsopoci

Musicals. I participate in at least one musical a year. I’ve been told by my older musicians when I was young that you keep playing and performing on stage until you fall off the stage dead. Of course it’s hard to fall off the stage when I’m in the pit playing below the stage but I understand the thought to never give up what you love.

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Laughing....
I'm 90
A musician who has sung for 87 years.
My sister had made up shows in our basement.
3 cents to look in the windows. 5 cents to come in. When my sister couldn't decide what to do next
She would have 3 or 5 year old me...sing
New York new york
Laughing

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Marilyn McFarland | @1942marilyne | 1 day ago
In reply to @stsopoci "Musicals. I participate in at least one musical a year. I’ve been told by my older..." + (show)
@stsopoci

Musicals. I participate in at least one musical a year. I’ve been told by my older musicians when I was young that you keep playing and performing on stage until you fall off the stage dead. Of course it’s hard to fall off the stage when I’m in the pit playing below the stage but I understand the thought to never give up what you love.

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I am 83. And I just renewed my seasons with 2 towns. 12 total. If I cannot go I gift them.

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Marilyn McFarland | @1942marilyne | 1 day ago
In reply to @margotcc "I am not willing to give up water aerobics! I’m enjoying it and know it’s beneficial,..." + (show)
@margotcc

I am not willing to give up water aerobics! I’m enjoying it and know it’s beneficial, also made some friends while doing it.
Am 84 and had relatively minor issues.
Hv learned not to do activities that hurt, so have gone to lighter water weights and always quit movements when my joints act up.
I just have been diagnosed with psoriasis, am pretty sure I have psoriatic arthritis, and don’t know yet if the doctors think that the water may aggravate the rash. (My primary care physician just retired, hv a dermatologist and rheumatologist appointment coming up, probably need to have my eyes checked by my Optomologist because of blurry vision.)
In addition, I do house walking, stretching too, and I know those activities are helpful.
Like many of you say, we have to move as much as we are able.
PS. Also have learned that not all aches and pains are just old age issues, to be ignored and suffered through like I did, but that there may be a real disease behind it.

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I continue water aerobics available Monday thru Friday. Doctors say continue it has got me this far.

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Ray Kemble | @ray666 | 1 day ago

Hi, all!

You're right about approaching concert organizers about accessibility. I totally agree. And if I and my friends are going to a venue like Red Rocks or Fiddler's Green, that's just what we do. Some some events around here are at the other end of the formaility scale and have little or no structure. They're more or less "gatherings," seemingly impromptu (although there are sometimes fliers posted in neighborhood coffee shops). That's when, if a taller-than-average chair is what a person needs, plain ol' common courtesy comes in play. We attend both sorts of concerts, from the vastness of Red Rocks to the comparatively tiny patch of grass alongside the Unitarian Church just down the block.

Ray (@ray666)

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bjk3 | @bjk3 | 1 day ago
In reply to @sueinmn "Hi Barb - With the proliferation of "destination" weddings, sometimes all it takes is a quick..." + (show)
@sueinmn

Hi Barb -
With the proliferation of "destination" weddings, sometimes all it takes is a quick call to the bride, groom or a family member.
When my daughter got married on the lakeshore at the groom's family property, about a mile from parking, they provided transportation via two ATV's for those who could not make the walk. It was lovely. And at the end of the evening they were able to transport members of the wedding party to rural their lakefront motel a couple miles away, safely and with no worries about if anyone over-imbibed. Having lived with many people with mobility issues for most of our lives, we try to be inclusive - and it doesn't hurt to remind anyone that "their" day was only made possible by the family who came before.
Another note about outdoor concerts - a call directly to the venue ahead of time often resolves that issue as well. People are nice if you give them the chance! Just don't wait to approach the Event Security near opening time - their job is usually to enforce the rules, not make exceptions.
Last Spring we went to see Willy Nelson, it had rained hard for days before, the open ground was soft, and the venue (which did not allow chairs) made sure those who needed a place to sit solidly on a chair could find a spot for it, and even came up with folding chairs. One of our local parks, if they have to move the concert from the amphitheater, offers rides up a fairly long hill, for those who cannot make the trek.

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Hi, Sue ~
Thank you for your reply and also for the helpful suggestions! I wouldn't hesitate to make inquiries about short-distance transports if the event were something I was paying a price to attend, or, in the case of my grandkids' outdoor sporting games, a golf-cart "lift" to the bleachers. In fact, almost always, they provided that service for those of us who were grandparents or anyone physically disabled. It was really appreciated, believe me! And the guys driving the carts were clearly "in their element"!
In my particular case, attending this outdoor wedding & reception could easily be a disaster, as I need (make that NEED) to be within a ridiculously close - or easy - distance to a restroom. This is a detail I didn't disclose in my reply to @jillb329.... I'm never sure just how my body will respond to restaurant food. It's just another concern adding to the mobility issue. I'm grateful for my amazingly understanding family, and for the knowledge that they'd rather see me in my safe and "happy place" (home) than struggling to be part of a gathering that is more stressful than enjoyable for me.
Meanwhile, prayers for the happy couple, the lovely ceremony, great weather, and God's blessings over all! Peace, Barb

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bjk3 | @bjk3 | 1 day ago
In reply to @labrown "How wonderful that you did not make the event about you and your needs…to many times..." + (show)
@labrown

How wonderful that you did not make the event about you and your needs…to many times seniors do to the point of making everyone else feel bad. I hope as I get older and less able to be out and about on unsure footing that I will remember your note.

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Hi, @labrown ~
Thank you for your words of validation and kindness. It is disappointing when you find you can't attend everything that that would have been no-brainers just a few short years ago, but love does conquer all! And it leaves you at peace.

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kayraymat | @kayraymat | 16 hours ago

I want to keep riding my bike & hiking, but my pace has really slowed down
so I am hesitant to sign up for certain Road Scholar trips, but I am going to try one anyway & see what happens. On my last one in New England, it was a man
who couldn't make it up the hill/mountain, so someone just took him back & the guides did not seem to mind. A woman traveling alone always has a unique set of problems.

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1995victoria | @1995victoria | 13 hours ago

As a cpa I've been doing my tax returns for 60 years. Last year I had cataract surgery and luckily I only had my left eye done. Can't read numbers, only by closing my left eye and looking with my right, very upsetting. I suspect for my 2025 returns, I'll be going to a local accountant. So I never thought I'd have to give up doing my own tax return (by hand, not with tax software)

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2 replies
bjk3 | @bjk3 | 12 hours ago
In reply to @1995victoria "As a cpa I've been doing my tax returns for 60 years. Last year I had..." + (show)
@1995victoria

As a cpa I've been doing my tax returns for 60 years. Last year I had cataract surgery and luckily I only had my left eye done. Can't read numbers, only by closing my left eye and looking with my right, very upsetting. I suspect for my 2025 returns, I'll be going to a local accountant. So I never thought I'd have to give up doing my own tax return (by hand, not with tax software)

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In the back of my mind, I'm thinking this can be repaired (clear sight restored) by a procedure possibly done in the opthomologist's (sp.?) office. I would have a couple of opinions by different eye surgeons, just to know for sure that what you currently have is irreversible. Prayers for you! ~ Barb

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