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There may not be anything your kids can do, but I think you owe it to them to tell them what's going on. Dementia affects the whole family and that certainly includes children, especially adult children. My son-in-law's mother died of Alzheimer's a couple of years ago after seven years of decline. My daughter and her whole family visited often, though it meant a long drive, and they always took their two boys, who were about ten and fourteen when the whole thing started. Now that my husband has Alzheimer's, my two adult children and my grandsons (16 and 20) know exactly what's going on, how to deal with it and be compassionate and unafraid. Someone on this list mentioned telling the neighbors so they won't be spooked by any strangeness and also so they can help keep an eye on the dementia sufferer. If they see him wandering off, they might be able to intervene or let someone know. My husband doesn't seem to fully realize or accept what's happening, but everyone who knows him knows exactly what's happening and are able to lend support, even if it's just moral support, which is what we mostly need.

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Replies to "There may not be anything your kids can do, but I think you owe it to..."

I agree, we are dealing with dementia as a family. Close friend and church family are also aware. I am careful with the details I share and choose the timing to share.

I agree with you, and all of our family, close friends and church family are aware and very helpful to him. I’m just saying I don’t call and tell them every issue that comes up. It’s hard enough for my husband and I to deal with the day to day. I don’t want my family to be that burdened as well. They have lives to live, but they are there when we need them.