Reading the posts re: communicating with family about spouse's/family member's actual condition. I have been hesitant to do that although I really want to - more for my sake than his. When one nephew calls randomly, my husband just says he's "status quo". When I am asked, I say he's "ok" or "so-so". He doesn't want people to really know what is going on with him. Reality is he is declining health wise and mentally. Not super bad but it sure makes my life with him very difficult. I think family should know. My problem with doing that - when he does talk to people - like family and doctors - he puts on this image of being "fine". Even told one of the doctors a few weeks ago he knows what's going on around him (not really) and he understands his days are not forever. Last time he went to church with me, he looked horrible! He started not doing so well and I wanted to leave but NO! We had to stay. Anyone that looked at him knew he was not well. But he puts on that smile and tries to talk like everything is fine. So I feel if I tell people what is really going on at home where they don't see him, they'll think I'm nuts or just maybe bad-mouthing him. I feel like I'm in a no win situation.