I have the same with helping. Always something I can do, get a drink of water, pick up a paper I dropped, etc.
I too wish he would do something that needs to be done, trim the bushes, empty the dehumidifier, come to the grocery store to help….. but as I said, what is, is. I too am thankful for this site. I have been to counseling for help in trying to cope. But sharing with people who are there, or have been there works better.