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Obsessions and Selfishness: Just need to vent
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Jul 12 11:54am | Replies (47)Comment receiving replies
Boy, do I get it! My husband spends most of the day in front of the TV or asleep when he's not out telling people the same stories about his life that he's told a million times already, often to the same people. Fortunately, he's good-natured and tries to be helpful, which can itself be annoying when he wants to do little things that I can easily and more conveniently do myself, like open the refrigerator or stir my tea. He interrupts me all the time, asking,"Is there anything I can do to help?" He could pull the weeds that are choking our backyard but he'd rather stand outside greeting the dogs and their owners who pass by. Petty, petty, petty. That's how this all sounds, but the worst is, as you say, the person he once was and the couple we used to be are not at all the same. Yes, I love this site. I feel I can say anything and not be judged and no one knows who I am. There's freedom in that. Best wishes to you.
Replies to "Boy, do I get it! My husband spends most of the day in front of the..."
I can relate to All the examples you all give.
My spouse never sits still!!! unless its winter. It would be nice to have him sit and laugh with me but laughing is not normal for him. Unless its potty talk or a joke that is not funny.
He also asks if he can help with thing’s that is not normal to get help with. I usually say thanks but no, but one time i did say “not unless you wipe my bottom”. That made him laugh!
Really, my biggest worry is how many strangers he talks to about our private matters. He makes our life an open book and I worry about scammers. From cold calls, folks walking bye, solicitors, retail folks. He will ask questions from the wrong type of physician about various health issues. Its embarrassing because he seems “normal” to them. Then he gets mad at me when i try to deflect the question.
Sorry to vent so much negativity!
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I have the same with helping. Always something I can do, get a drink of water, pick up a paper I dropped, etc.
I too wish he would do something that needs to be done, trim the bushes, empty the dehumidifier, come to the grocery store to help….. but as I said, what is, is. I too am thankful for this site. I have been to counseling for help in trying to cope. But sharing with people who are there, or have been there works better.